


Doctor doctor give me the news, I've got a bad case of loving you

by Smileydubs15



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Dorks in Love, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Jj and garcia are the wingwomen we all deserve, Spencer Reid - Freeform, Spencer Reid in love, spencer reid is soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:42:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 25,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28996914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smileydubs15/pseuds/Smileydubs15
Summary: You had all but given up on love, when Spencer Reid comes brandishing your lost ID badge like cinderella's glass slipper. After he finds you at work for a professional consultation a friendship develops and from the friendship blossoms the start of something new
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s), Spencer Reid/Reader, Spencer Reid/You
Comments: 21
Kudos: 213





	1. I'll spend forever wondering if you knew, I was enchanted to meet you

“Excuse me, miss?” A voice called after you, making you turn and putting you face to face with a tall dark haired man. “This fell out of your bag.” He held up your hospital ID badge. 

“Oh my goodness.” You patted your bag, feeling that it was wide open. “Thank you so much. You know, I swear sometime it’d lose my head if it weren't attached. ” You gushed. 

“No problem.” He smiled. He had a nice smile, but what you noticed most was his eyes. They were beautiful, but had a sadness about them.

“Can I buy you a coffee?” You asked, catching yourself off guard. you never did this. Never made the first move. Never offered the friendly conversation. Never asked strange men out, no matter how nice their smile was, but you could tell there was something special about him.

“That's not necessary.” He smiled again and your heart fluttered at the fact that his smile had twice been directed at you. 

“No, it is. You just saved me the hassle and embarrassment of having to go and get yet another replacement. Please. I insist.” You were emboldened by this strange bought of confidence that had suddenly come upon you.

He looked at his watch , “Yeah. Okay. Sure.” He followed you to coffee shop a few doors down, grabbing the door for you. 

The shop was full, despite the early hour. You were dumbfound about what to say next while you stood next to each other in the line. You hadn't thought you’d get this far, and now that you were here, you were completely lost.

“What type of Doctor are you?” He asked, breaking the silence, much to your relief.

You were confused for a moment, then remembered he had been holding your ID badge. He made you a little flustered “Orthopedist .”

“Specializing in bones. Very cool.” 

“Yeah, it's pretty cool. FBI?” You looked over at him.

He looked shocked at your question. “How’d you know?”

“Gun on your hip. We’re in Virginia, and,” You flicked his badge clipped to his bag . “Took a guess.”

“I'm Dr. Spencer Reid with the behaviour analysis unit.” He introduced himself.

“Dr Y/N Y/L/N. It's very nice to meet you, Dr. Reid.” You offered him your hand, which he looked at.

“I don't really shake hands.”

You brought your hand back, “Probably for the best. Lots of germs. They say it's actually safer to just kiss.”

“Yes.” He said excitedly, “I heard that too.”

You were finally at the front of the line. You ordered yourself a vanilla latte and looked over Spencer. 

“Double espresso, thank you.” He spoke to the barista. You paid and you both stepped over to the side to wait. “So. How many new ID badges have you needed to get?”

“Quite a few.” You were embarrassed by the number, especially given the amount of time you’d worked at this hospital.

“Three?” He guessed. You scrunched your nose and shook your head. “Four?”

You shook your head again, biting your lip. You checked your watch and sighed, “I should be going. Thank you again, Dr. Reid For stopping me. I appreciate it.”

“You're welcome, Dr. Y/L/N . Thank you for the coffee, and the conversation.”

“My pleasure.” You raised your cup and stopped short of touching his cup, like they were making a toast. He squinted his eyes a little and the corners of his mouth threatened another smile, and you were mortified at how much of a dork you were being. “Well. Bye.” You turned and walked away without looking back. Too embarrassed that you didn't give yourself the chance to be mad at yourself for not getting his number until hours later when you were talking to your colleague, Clara.

“You didn't get his number?” Clara scoffed. 

“What? No.”

“God Y/N, you’re no fun.” You rolled your eyes at Clara in response and went back to your chart work. 

“You should be proud that I spoke to a man. You're always on my case about putting myself out there.”

“Yeah, but you need to close the deal Y/N. Was he cute? We could probably look him up, you said he was a Doctor?”

“I don't think he was a medical doctor.” You bit the end of your pen, thinking about his dreamy eyes.

“Even better. If he’s a PhD he would have written a dissertation. Spencer Reid you said? R-E-E-D or R-E-I-D, you think?” Clara asked sitting at the computer at the nurses station, looking up at you expectantly. 

You took your glasses off, rested them on your head and pinched the bridge of your nose, it had already been a long day and you weren't really in the mood to talk about the cute FBI agent with the big hands and nice smile whose number you didn't get. “I'm going to finish these in my office. Alone.” You carried the large stack of paperwork into your office and shut the door giving yourself a chance to focus, and a bit of a reprieve from Clara’s line of questions. Her heart was in the right place, but sometimes it was a little much. 

You had almost finished a good chunk of your paperwork when there was a soft knock on your office door. A quick glance at your watch told you it was getting close to noon, so you figured it would be Clara wanting to go for lunch together. 

“Come in.” You said, not looking away from the computer. 

“Y/N? There's someone here to see you.” Clara said, her voice higher then normal. 

“Yeah, be right there.” You quickly finished typing you train of thought, and spun your chair around. “Oh, Dr. Reid. How nice to see you again.” You somehow managed to keep your voice calm, but internally you were screaming. The cute FBI agent was in your office holding two cups of coffee with Clara was standing behind him with her eyes almost bugging out of her head.

“Dr. Y/L/N.” He smiled. “I was hoping we could talk about a case? I have a few question I'd like your opinion on.”

“Um, yeah. Of course, please take a seat. Clara, close the door on the way out?” You shot her a look while Dr. Reid sat, pulling files out of his bag. Clara fanned herself, but shut the door leaving you alone. 

You rolled your chair so you were across from him, eyeing the stack of folders he had pulled out of the bag. He reached across your desk and handed you a cup of coffee. 

“We’re working a case and talking with you earlier made me think of something, and I was hoping you could take a look and tell me what you think.”

“Yeah, of course. Lucky we met then, I usually carpool with my friend to work, but she had an appointment so I stopped for a coffee. ” He handed you the first file. “What’s the story with the cases?”

“We suspect we’re dealing with a family annihilator. Three family so far.”

“You believe it's the same person committing these crimes.” You asked reading the first autopsy report. The father of one of the families. You used to work in the emergency department at your last placement, and it always sickened you to see the horrible things that people could do to each other. 

“We believe so. The amount of over kill with the fathers is what alerted us.”

You grabbed your glasses and held up one of the X-ray’s from the child from the first family, a young boy, up to the light. “Hmm.” You rolled your chair over to the film reader. 

“Do you see something?”

“Do all the fathers have broken arms like this?” You asked.

“They do.”

“Are there other X-ray from this family?” You examining the X-ray closer.

“Yeah.” He rustled through the files and handed you a few more.

“Dr. Reid. I can't say this for certain without examining the bones myself, but you see here?” He slide his chair closer to you. “The father has a spiral fracture on his left arm.” You started, looking over at him.

“Alright?” He raised an eyebrow and looked at you, waiting for you to explain.

“And if you look here at the son’s X-ray, I would make the assertion that he had a spiral fracture in the same place, it's healed but I would say that it's only within the last year.”

“What about the others?”

The two of you went through the rest of the X-rays of the victims, carefully documenting injuries, Dr. Reid taking notes while you spoke.

“I hope I was able to be helpful.” You said while he packed up the files.

“More so then you know.Thank you, Dr. Y/L/N.” He finished up the files and quickly crossed the room, pulling out his phone, dialling a number quickly. He paused at the door, and pulled his phone away from his ear. “Six ID badges?” He asked, looking back.

You smiled and shook your head. He smiled back and left, talking to someone over the phone, his voice lingering after he was gone. Clara pounced on you as soon as he had cleared the floor. 

“Oh my god Y/N. He’s a babe.” She squealed, grabbing your arm.

“Let's go grab a bite to eat.” You ignored Clara, not wanting to encourage her anymore.

“I’d like to take a bite out of him.”

“On second thought, maybe I'd like to eat lunch alone.” Clara rolled her eyes and followed you down to the cafeteria, asking a million questions.

It was four days later and you were getting ready to go home. Another long day and your bed and some takeout was calling your name.

“Hey, there was a delivery for you, I put it in your office.” Clara said, packing up her own things.

Intrigued, you went in to you office and flicked on the lights. On your desk there was a bouquet of flowers. You sat and pulled the card off the bouquet and read it.

Thank you for all your help

-Spencer 

You were admiring the flowers when Clara came in, tying her scarf around her neck. 

“Those are beautiful. What kind of flower are there?” She asked.

You gently stroked the petals and smiled. “It's magnolias.” 

“They're pretty. Who are they from?”

“No one.”You slipped the card into your coat pocket , and grabbed the flowers. “Are you ready to go?” You couldn't bare the teasing you would have gotten if Clara had known they were from Spencer Reid, the cute FBI agent, and that he had somehow guessed your favourite flower.


	2. Needle and a thread, gotta get you outta myhead

“Why do you always want to come to this floor” Clara was leaning against the vending machine while you rummaged in the bottom of your bag for any loose change.

“Because this floor has much better snacks then our floor.” Success. You picked through the handful of change, a mint and some long ago crushed up granola bar, keeping the change and tossing the rest in the trash can. You slide some of your coins in to the machine and evaluated your choices. “Chips, or chocolate?” You turned to Clara, who was pulling her elastic out of her hair, giving it a shake. 

“Chocolate, obviously. How do you do this all the time?”

“Hmm?” You were focused, not wanting to accidentally pick the chocolate covered raisin again. “Do what?” You stifled a yawn while you waited for your chocolate bar to drop, wondering if you had enough left to get a second one.

“You're a specialist. You don't have to spend all this extra time helping out in the ER. You know that, right? you're allowed to go home.”

“I go home.” You said defensively. 

“You should get a dog. Cute guys hang out at the dog park.”

“I'm confused, should I get a dog, or a boyfriend?” You offered Clara some of your chocolate bar and you headed down the hall back towards the elevator. 

Clara shrugged, “I mean, if you were getting some on the regular you probably wouldn't want to spend all your time here. I actually have a theory that you’d be a lot more fun if you were getting laid.”

“Clara. There are people around.” Your cheeks flushed. You regretted telling her that you hadn't been with anyone since your move to Virginia.

“I mean, not that you aren't fun, it's just like I said, you're always here.”

“I like being here.”

“Yeah, so fun eating crappy cafeteria food and off brand chocolate bars from the vending machine.”

You sighed, unsure how to explain what you felt to her. Yes, Clara was your friend, but you’d only known her seven months. It had also been her first day working here when you’d asked her for directions after you’d gotten all turned around. 

“I just think it wouldn't kill you to come out with us sometime after work. Socialize, meet people.”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Y/N. You are a hot, boss ass bitch doctor. You're a catch. You’d have men lined up around the block to go home with you, if you came out with us”, then she gasped and wrapped your arm, “The hot FBI agent.” 

“What about him?”

“Look, that's him isn't it. It's the hot FBI agent.” She said excitedly, nodding her head toward the nurses station.

“No. I don't think that's him.” You lied, stopping in your tracks. It's definitely him. He was leaning slightly against the nurses station holding a blood soaked towel to his head while a blonde woman spoke to the head nurse. “Hey, it’s getting late, we should probably head home.” You tried to pull your arm away from Clara’s grip, but she pulled you forward.

“I'm pretty sure that's him. What was his name again, Spencer? Spencer!” She called out.

“Clara.” You hissed. Clara waved at Spencer when he looked over.

“He saw us, so now we have to talk to him.”

“Remind me to kill you.” You whispered as you approached. 

“Dr. Y/L/N.” He smiled at you and you wanted to melt. 

“Dr. Reid, what have you done your head.”

“Well Dr. Y/L/N, it would appear that getting hit in the head with a piece of lumber sometimes results in forehead splitting open.”

“Is that so?” You chuckled. “Can you take the towel off so I can see?” He reluctantly lifted the towel. “Ouch. Yeah, that's definitely going to need stitches.” You turned to the nurse, “Has anyone been paged to treat him yet?”

“I was just about to call to see if anyone was available.”

“Dr.Y/L/N's available.” Clara butted in before you could offer. “She's very available.” She gave you a wink and you rolled your eyes.”And I need to leaving, Y/N, see you tomorrow, Dr. Reid it was very nice to see you again.” She turned on her heel and left without another word.

“I was just about to say, I’m available to treat him.” You smiled at the nursed, reaching for the form he’d filled in.

“You are?” The blonde woman looked relieved.

“Yeah. It won't be a problem at all.”

“Thank God. I’m going to go call the rest of the team, if that's that's alright. You're good Spence?” She asked him. You felt a slight tinge of jealously at the obvious closeness between the two of them. 

“I’ll be okay.” He smiled at her and she reached over and gave him arm a squeeze before she left the two of you. Spencer turned and looked at you expectantly. He raised his one visible eyebrow at you when you didn't say anything at first. 

“Right. This way.” You gestured down the hall towards the exam rooms and found an empty one. “Please. Sit.” You motioned to the chair next to the desk. You shut the door behind you and watched as he folded his long body into the small chair. “Sorry. You're so tall, I don't think I’d be able to reach if you sat on the exam table.” You explained while you gathered all the things you were going to need.

He chuckled, “It’s aright.”

“You can take the towel off now.” You said, putting your glasses on and moving close to him. He spread his legs apart, letting you get even closer. “I’m going to clean the cut now, this will probably hurt.” You said before gently dabbing the cut with some gauze and sterile water. You held under his chin, the day's growth of stubble from his beard rough on your fingers. He winced a little while you carefully cleaned the wound. “How's your pain?” You asked.

“A four.” He winced again. 

“Only a four?” You asked. “You know, you don't have to act all tough to impress me Dr. Reid.”

“Spencer. I’d like it if you’d call me Spencer.” He said softly, his warm brown watching you closely while you worked. 

“Well, Spencer. What's your pain really at?” 

He sighed. “A seven.”

“I could give you something for the pain.”

“No.” He said quickly. “No, thank you. I’ll be alright”   
“Any nausea or dizziness? Confusion?”

“No.”

“Excellent. If that changes I want you to come back here.” You let go of his chin and, and grabbed a tube of the table and a swab. “ This is a numbing gel. I'm going to put it around the cut. You’ll still feel the pulling while I stitch you up, but it shouldn't hurt as much.” You explained. 

“Does it smell like bubble gum, or did I hit my head harder then I thought?”

“It's the same one we use in mouths, so yes. You do smell bubble gun.” You laughed, finally reaching for the needle to start stitching him. “ You ready?” You asked him.

“You know how to do this, right?”

“I’ll have you know that before I worked here I used to work in an emergency room. I’ve   
stitched up plenty of foreheads in my time. You're in very good hands Spencer.” 

He smiled as you started, and you had to draw in a deep breath to keep your hands from shaking from his closeness. 

“Did you get the flowers I sent?” He asked finally, filling the silence.

“I did. They were very beautiful. I would have called to thank you, but I didn't have your phone number. So, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Magnolia’s are my favourite.” You bit you lip and looked into his eyes. “Somehow I think you knew that already.”

“An educated guess.”

“Based off?”

“You’re from Mississippi, at least that's where you did your undergrad, based off the diplomas on your office wall. And there was a picture of you when you were young and a woman, I’d guess your mother based off the facial similarities, and you both had magnolias in your hair. And the tattoo on your wrist, a magnolia.”

“Hmm. Alright Sherlock, any other brilliant deductions.”

“Not yet.” He replied. You tried to ignore the soft look in his eyes while he looked at you and finished of the last few stitches in silence.

“Well Spencer. You're all set. These will dissolve, so you won't need to come back. I do highly recommend that you take a few days off, I can write you a doctors note if you need.”

“I should be alright.”

“And you promise to come back if you start to display any symptoms of a concussion.”

“I promise.”

“Good. Now. Would you like a lollipop or a sticker?”

“Do you have red lollipops.”

“Of course I have red lollipops. That's the best flavour.” You handed him one and smiled. “I’ll walk you out.” While you walked him back to his friend you explained how he needed to care for his stitches.

“Spence.” The blonde agent said when she saw him and hugged him.

“I’m alright JJ. Y/N took very good care of me.”

“Thank you.” JJ had a grateful look in her eyes when she looked at you.

“Just doing my job. But make sure he takes it easy.”

“Don't worry. I’ll make sure to keep an eye on him.” JJ said, handing Spencer his coat, “Thank you again, so much for taking care of him.”

“Dr. Y/L/N, the ER is calling and asking if you're available.” 

“Um. Yeah. Tell them I’ll be right down. It was nice to meet you JJ, and good to see you again Spencer.” You smiled quickly before heading down to the emergency room, only realizing later that you’d forgotten yet again to get his number. 

**

He had fought JJ on bringing him to your hospital, it wasn't that he didn't want to see you again, because he really did. It was just that he didn't want you to see him like that. When she had insisted Spencer had taken some comfort in knowing that it was unlikely you’d be there so late, so he had been very surprised to see you.   
“Who was that?” JJ asked while she drove him home, the slight pounding in his head increasing. 

“Dr/ Y/L/N. I told you about her, she consulted on that case.”

“No, I remember you talking about a Dr. Y/L/N, it's just that you failed to mention that she was a she, and a very pretty one, at that.”

“I didn't think it was relevant.”

“So you do think she’s pretty?”

“What? No, I mean, yeah she has a certain appeal.”

JJ laughed, “You’re blushing. You like her, I can't believe it. Spencer has a crush..”

Spencer closed him mouth tight, not wanting to give JJ any more material. He looked out the window and sighed, mostly because it was true.


	3. I could have that voice on repeat for a week

“Reid. Do you know that girl?” Morganasked. The team had gone out for drinks after getting home from a case where they managed to save the most recent victim. They had felt like celebrating.

“What girl?” Prentiss asked, looking around the bar.

“At the the bar, hasn't taken her eyes off Reid since we came in.” 

“Don't all look.” Reid squeaked but it was too late. They all had turned to look over except Reid. 

“Spence, it's that doctor friend of yours.” JJ said in a sing songy voice, 

Garcia gasped. “Reid. She's beyond pretty.” His cheeks warmed at the all the attention on him. “JJ told me she was pretty, but my goodness.” 

She's coming over here.” Rossi added.”Everyone be cool.”

Reid calculated the distance to the door and was certain he could make a run for it.

“Spencer?” You said,

He turned in his chair, and looked up. “Y/N.” He stood and couldn't help smiling at you. “Hi. How are you?”

“I'm good. It's nice to see you again.”

“You too. What are you doing here?”

“Work thing.” You replied, nodding your head over to a table where Spencer recognized one of your colleagues. 

Morgan cleared his throat. “Reid. You going to introduced us to your friend?” He asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, sorry, right. This is Dr Y/N Y/L/N. Y/N, these are Penelope Garica, Emily Prentiss, Derek Morgan David Rossi, and you met JJ the other night.”

“This is the famous Dr. Y/L/N.” Garcia said, offering you her hand, which you took and shook.. Reid was sure his face was on fire now.

“It's so nice to meet you. Reid speaks highly of you, and the help you gave with that case we were working.” Morgan stood and shook your hand as he spoke. 

“It was really nothing.” You bit your lip and looked at Reid. He quickly dropped his eyes. 

“Would you like to sit and have a drink with us?” Rossi asked. 

“I wouldn't want to interrupted.”

“You wouldn't be.” Prentiss said quickly, pulling a chair from a neighbouring table.

“Okay, sure. I'm just going to let my colleagues know.”

They waited until you were out of earshot before they all started buzzing.

“That's the doctor you were talking about?” Rossi asked.

“Yeah.”

“Reid, you never mentioned that she was gorgeous.” Emily said.

“I hadn't noticed.” He lied.

“Pretty boy’s got a crush. He's blushing.” Morgan teased.

Reid looked over at you while you made your way back over, “She's coming back, please shut up.” He wanted to sink into the floor.

“Spencer and Y/N sitting in a tree.” Jj sang softly. 

Reid got up and intercepted you as you got to the table. “Let me buy you a drinks, it's my round.” 

“Sure.” You set your purse and coat down on the empty chair next to his and followed him back over to the bar. 

You were watching him while he ordered his friends drinks and he looked over at you, waiting on you to order something.

“Whatever beer you have on tap is fine.” You smiled at the bartender, and God how Spencer wished that smile was directed at him again. “So, Spencer. If I didn't know any better, I’d think you were following me.” You said watching him again while you played with the thin chain around your neck. “Should I be thinking of getting a restraining order, or is this all a coincidence.” You cocked your head, a small smile playing across your glossy lips. Spencer had to look away, a flush creeping up his body as he thought about what flavour your lip gloss was and how his mouth was watering at how badly he wanted to taste it. 

“You know, coincidences are just our minds picking up on patterns and similarities, and when there's something that seems out of the ordinary that's when we believe it's a coincidence, when really, we’re two adults of approximately the same age living in the same city. We work near each other, and both have jobs as a type of first responder. I believe we could have crossed paths more times before this, even though your newer to the city.” He rambled, stopping only when he looked back over at you, an amused look on your face.

“So it's your professional opinion that I don't need to get a restraining order?”

“No.” He laughed, “At least not against me.” You laughed too, and Spencer’s heart soared that he made you laugh. 

“So, what are you a Doctor of?” You asked, helping collect the drinks off the bar while you headed back to the table where his team was waiting.”

Spencer hesitated a moment, “I actually have three PhDs.”

“Three?” You gasped.

“Mathematics, chemistry and engineering, and, um, three BA’s in psychology, sociology and philosophy.”

“Wow, you're an impressive man, Dr. Reid.” You said. Usually Spencer was uncomfortable telling people that, them often thinking he was bragging, but the genuine interest in your voice made him flush with pride. 

“You're very impressive too. Harvard medical school, isn't that the top ranking medical school in the country?” A slightly noticeable blush crept across your cheeks, “and, I, I uh read a paper you wrote about bone density testing, very fascinating.”

“I'm flattered.”

“That I found it fascinating?”

“No, that you read it. You looked me up?” You raised a eyebrow.

“Before I came to you for that consult. I wanted to be sure that you would be able to help.”

Back at the table rejoining the team the two of you handed out everyone's drinks. 

“What were you two talking about over there?” Rossi pried. 

“Is he telling you about his magic?” Morgan asked, reaching out for his beer.

“Or did he tell you any of his philosophy jokes?” Rossi added. 

“Magic?” You raised an eyebrow as you handed Garcia her appletini before settling in the seat next to Spencer. 

“Reid’s really good at Magic.” Garcia told you, resting her hand on your arm. “They just like to give him a hard time because they’re jealous.”

“I’d like to see some sometime.” You smiled at him and his heart almost jumped out of his chest.

“Sure.” He squeaked, his voice cracking. Morgan chuckled and Spencer kicked him under the table. 

Garcia complemented your necklace, and your attention was taken over while Garica and Emily excitedly started to ask you questions about yourself. Spencer watched a moment while his friends chatted with you, he then looked over at Morgan, who winked at him. Reid ignored him, and also tried to ignore the fact that your leg was against his. 

“Last call already?” You said as you grabbed Reid's arm and looked at his watch. “I should probably get going. It was so nice to meet all of you.” They all were getting ready to leave as well. 

“How are you getting home?” Reid asked while you put on your coat.

“I was going to get a cab.”

“I’ll walk you out, make sure you get one.”

“Okay.” You smiled and waved, “It was really nice to meet all of you.” Garcia hugged you, and you left with Reid following you out. “I like your friends.” you told him once you were out there. “Penelope’s nice.”

“They like you too.” He stood at the curb trying to hail a cab for you. 

“You know, I wasn't even planning on going out tonight, I'm glad I did and that I got to see you again.” It was cool out, so you were standing close.

“I liked seeing you again too.” He said. 

“You never said how you knew I was new I'm town.”

“You referred to the people you were with as your colleagues, not your friends.”

“Spencer Reid, are you saying I have no friends?” You crossed your arms.

“I just mean that if you're new in town and haven't quite cemented some friend ships you’d be hesitant to call them your friends.”

“Aren't we friends?” You asked, cocking your head.

“Yeah, we’re friends. I just mean to say that…”

“Spencer, I'm teasing you.”

“Oh. Right.” He chuckled. 

“Give me your hand.” You held out your hand. Reid hesitantly put his hand on yours, palm side up. You had pulled a pen from your purse and wrote something on his hand. “So you can call me if you think of any thing else you’ve profiled about me. Or if you're doing a magic show I can watch.”You looked up at him, still holding his hand. 

“I only do birthdays and bar mitzvahs, on the weekend.” 

“Makes sense. Can’t expect FBI-ing to pay the bills.” 

you giggled.

Reid wasn't sure if this was just playful banter like Morgan and Garcia had , or if this was flirting. He had never really flirted with a woman before, at least not intentionally. 

“Spence, are you coming?” JJ called as the rest of the team funnelled out of the pub. Reid quickly dropped your hand, and looked into the street. He raised his hand and hailed a passing cab. 

“Good night Y/N.” He said as you got into the cab. 

“Good night Spencer.” You said before shutting the door. He watched as the car drove off, waiting for a moment, then caught up with his friends.

“Hi Cher.” Will said as they got in the car, JJ leaned across the seat and kissed his cheek. “Did you all have fun?” He asked.

“We met Reid's girlfriend.” Prentiss giggled.

“She's not my girlfriend.” He said defensively.

“But you want her to be.” JJ turned back and looked at him.

“Ah, leave him alone.” Will chuckled.

Reid looked down at his hand and gently brushed his thumb across the writing on his palms admiring the neatness of the lettering, wondering what he should say when he called you, or if he would even call you. He knew that tonight he would be dreaming of you.


	4. I get a rush when I'm with you.

“What am I doing here.” You said softly to yourself, waiting outside the large house. You could hear laughter from inside and you wondered if you had made a mistake coming tonight. You were sure if he even wanted to see you, it had been three weeks since you’d given Spencer your phone number and he hadn't so much as texted you. 

Three days ago when you had gotten a call from a blocked government number your heart had skipped a beat thinking it had to finally be him, so you had been very shocked when the voice on the other end was a woman. It had been JJ, Spencer’s friend you’d met the night he came in and got stitches. They were having a surprise party for Spencer’s birthday and she had wanted to invite you, telling you that Spencer would be really happy to see you.you had told her you'd be there but as the party got closer and closer you considered bailing.

Clara had noticed the shift in your demeanour and when she’d pried you about it, you had told her, giving her every reason you could think of why you didn't think you should go but she had easily pointed out the flaw in each of your reasons. 

“He didn't call.” You had said finally, the implications clear in your voice with what you weren't saying. 

“He’s a boy.” Clara had laughed, “Sometimes they need a little encouragement.”

So here you were at the address JJ had given you. You had been sure you were at the wrong place when you’d pulled up. She had said it was at Dave’s place, but this was a mansion. 

“Ah, Bella, so glad to see you.” Rossi smiled at you when he opened the door.”Please. Come in. The birthday boy isn't here yet.”

“Your house is beautiful, Agent Rossi.” You handed him a bottle of wine you’d brought for him as a host gift, now very glad that you had spent the extra money to get a nice bottle.

“Thank you, and please, you're a guest in my home, call me Dave.” He took your coat and the cake that you had insisted on bringing.

“In that case, thank you for having me, Dave.”

“You came!” JJ smiled when you and Rossi came into the kitchen. “Guys, you remember Dr. Y/L/N.” She came over and hugged you, “ Spence is going to be so glad you’re here.” You felt a slight pang of jealousy at the familiarity of the nickname and thought back to the other night when Spencer had so quickly dropped your hand when JJ had called to him, and how they had left together. 

You didn't have to wait long for Spencer to arrive. He seemed embarrassed at the fuss everyone was making over him when he came in, and he didn't see you at first as he went around the room hugging his friend, but when he did see you standing off to the side his eyes widened. 

“Y/N?” He smiled so big when he saw you it made your heart flutter and in that moment all that mattered was the way he was looking at you.

“Happy birthday.” You were very aware that all eyes were on the two of you when Spencer had hugged you and also knew that your cheeks were probably as red as a tomato. . 

You all hung out in the kitchen around the large island, chatting while Rossi prepared a delicious looking dinner. You had been surprised at first at how small the group was, just his team and you, but watching them all talk and laugh together they reminded you of a family and it gave you a feeling of longing for something you hadn't had in a while. .

“So, you bake a beautiful cake, but do you cook?” Dave asked, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“As much as I can.” You smiled.

“Excellent. None of the bums can get an al dente noodle without written instruction.”

You faked a horrified gasp. “They're lucky to have you. Is there anything I can help you with?” 

“You can help finish that bottle of wine.” He topped up your glass and shooed you towards the open seat at the counter. “ You are my guest. Sit, sit sit. I’m just glad to find someone who can appreciate the nuisance I put into my cooking. ” He told you while you sat next to Spencer, who turned in his stool to face you..

“He kicked you out?”

“He sure did.”

“He does that. Classic controlling personality.”

You laughed and took a sip of your wine, not super sure what else to say. The proximity to Spencer made you feel warm and like you couldn't speak. 

“How’s your birthday been so far?” you asked finally, pretending to watch what Dave was doing so you’d have an excuse to look away from Spencer, the intensity of his gaze too much. 

“Pretty great. I’m really glad you're here.”

“JJ invited me.” 

“I'm glad she did.” He smiled at you again. You could tell he really meant it. The two of you sat there talking to each other until Dave announced that dinner was ready.

**

Later that night belly full of delicious pasta, you stood on the deck sipping some more red wine watching Spencer talk to JJ by a bonfire.

“Hey pretty lady.” Penelope said, sliding up beside you. “I like you, I’m glad you came.” She rested her head against your shoulder.

You liked her too, you liked all of them. They all were so warm and welcoming to you, the only outsider to their little family. Even Spencer's boss Agent Hotchner had been friendly to you. “Everyone’s been so nice to me.”

“That's just because you're new. Give them some time and they'll drive you crazy with the teasing.”

You chuckled and glanced back over to where Spencer and JJ were looking at something together on her phone, “Can I ask you something?” You asked, looking away from Spencer and instead at your fingers playing with the steam of your wine glass. 

“Sure.”

You were embarrassed and hesitated, not really sure what you wanted to ask her, you glanced down at JJ and Spencer again and sighed. 

“God. This is so high school of me.” Covered your face with your hand. “Are Spencer and JJ… Together?”

“No. Oh no. They're best friends. He’s both her sons’ godfather. You’re all clear.”

“What? Oh, no I was just wondering.” You lied, the look on Penelope's face told you that he didn't believe you. “Is it obvious?”

“That you're a smitten kitten? Yes. Very much so.”

“Oh God.” You set the wine glass down. You needed to leave. Now. You were so embarrassed that they all likely knew that you were all mooney after Spencer. 

“He’d kill me if I told you, but he likes you too.” 

“He does? He told you?” You squeaked.

“He didn't need to say anything. I saw the way you were two were looking at each other at dinner. He couldn't keep his eyes off you.”

You didn't say anything at first, looking back down at Spencer again. He looked up and caught your eye this time, gesturing for you to come down.

“I need to go.” You said softly. All this was becoming very real. It was one thing to think about Spencer’s big brown puppy dog eyes, but it was a complete other to have them actually looking at you.

“Oh no. I didn't mean to scare you off.” Penelope said.

“You didn’t, it's just that it's getting late and I have to work in the morning.” You lied. 

“Aren't you going say bye to Reid.”

“Um, no. He’s busy, I think I'm just going to go.” You turned and ran out without another word.

You were at your car, just about to get in when you heard your name. Spencer was jogging down the driveway after you.

“You’ll leaving?” He asked when he caught up.

“Yeah, early morning.”

“You weren't going to say bye.”

“I didn't want to interrupt.”

“I feel like we didn't really talk at all tonight.”

“I didn't want hog all the birthday boy’s time.” You looked down and noticed he was holding the gift that you had brought for him. 

He held it up and smiled, “You didn't have to get me a present.”

“It’s nothing.” You reached for it, but he pulled it out of your reach. 

“A CD?” He said, pulling it out of the wrapping paper. “Spencer’s mix?” He read the front of the case with you had decorated. You’d thought it was very thoughtful at the time but now seemed childish. 

“Yeah. When we were having those drinks you said only listened to classical or jazz but that you’d consider giving some other music a go. It’s just some songs that I thought you might like. It's dumb. I probably have a gift card in my purse that you can have instead.”

“No, I love it. No ones ever made me a mix tape before.” He held the case to his chest. “ I can’t wait to listen to it. Thank you.” 

“You're welcome.”

He held eye contact with you, “Do you really have to go?” He asked softly after a moment. 

You dropped your gaze, not sure if you’d be able to lie to him if you were looking him right in the eye. “Yeah, I picked up a shift in the ER tomorrow morning.”

“I’m sorry I never called. Haven't had a chance for any magic showed lately.” He chuckled softly. 

“Oh, it's alright. I've been really busy with work.”

“I know you gave me your number strictly for magic show purposes, but could I call you once I listen to this and let you know what I think? We could maybe talk about the songs, and stuff?"

“Yeah, I’d really like that.” You finally looked back up, his eyes unwavering as he studied your face. “I really should be going though, Spencer. I really do have an early morning. ”

“Well. Thank you for coming.” He said as you got into your car.

“It was my pleasure.”

“I promise I'm going to listen to this and call you.”

“I look forward to it.”

“Goodnight Y/N.” 

“Goodnight Spencer.”


	5. I've been on fire, dreaming of you

Spencer walked into the hotel room, and left the lights off. The team had stayed downstairs for a drink. It had been a day. They had found the unsub, but not in time to save his last victim. He felt emotionally drained. Spencer had seen so many things that in this job that he never could have imagine anyone thinking of, let alone doing to another person. 

He knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep any time soon, but he also knew he wasn't up to being around the team right now. Usually when he got like this he just wanted to be alone, didn't want to talk to anyone, but tonight he pulled out his phone and dialled a familiar number. Your number. Then cleared it. He thought about calling you often. The first time you’d talked on the phone had been nice. Your voice a light at the end of a dark day. That first time you’d talked about music, and the way that the different songs had made you both feel. Spencer understood music in a technical sense, but hearing you talk about how the words of a song made you feel, he’d gained a new appreciation, and when listened to your favourite song, it definitely made him feel something in his chest. 

He laid on the bed and dialled your number again, staring at the numbers, willing himself to call you, just wanting to hear your voice. A deep breathe later he hit talk, listening to the ringing, too late now to back out. He didn't realize until the second you picked up that you’d probably be asleep. He internally kicked himself. It was late here, but even later back home. 

“How strange. I was just thinking about you.” You greeted him and he smiled softly to himself, the tiniest of thrills ran through his body at the idea of you thinking about him.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, there was a little boy here and his name was Reid.”

“Is Reid alright?”

“High fever, he'll be okay.”

“That's good.” He ran his fingers over the scratchy bedsheets, the weight that he had felt in his chest gone now that he was talking to you.

“Spencer, are you okay? It's four in the morning.”

“Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. Time zones.”

“3 Phds, you'd think timezones wouldn't be your down fall. Where are you?” He could hear in your voice that you were smiling. 

“Arizona.”

“Bad day?”

“Just needed to hear a friendly voice.” He smiled to himself again, wondering if he’d sound crazy if he told you that your voice was the only one he wanted to hear. 

“Are you okay?” You asked again, this time your voice was softer. 

“Just tired.”

"Then you should be sleeping, not talking on the phone." He could hear it again. The smile in your voice. It logically made no sense that he could hear you smiling, but he just knew you were. 

"You make it sound like sleeping is easy." He sighed, running his hands over his face. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” You understood him. He was sure you'd seen things too, you had mentioned working in the emergency room.

“No.” He couldn't tell you all his awful things. The things that kept him up at night. Unspeakable things. Things that would send any sane person running from him. You were safe from knowing those things, and he would do anything to protect you from that darkness. “Are you still at work?”

“Just walking to my car.” He could hear it. Your steps, the slight jingle of your keys.

“How was your day?”

“It was good. I didn't really do much before work. I went running. Did some grocery shopping. Paid some bills. Real fun stuff.” You chuckled softly. You must have been at your car now, he heard the door open and the ignition turn on.

“I should let you go.” He said softly. 

“We don't have to hang up.”

“I should let you get home so you can sleep.”

“You should get some sleep too.”

“I’ll try.” 

“ I’m glad you called, Spence.”

“I'm glad you picked up.”

“ You’ll be back tomorrow?” You asked.

“Yeah. We’ll be leaving first thing, then straight to the office for paperwork.”

“Do you have plans tomorrow night?” You asked and he sat up, his heart pounding now.

“No, nothing going on for me.”

“If you're interested, one of the bands I put on that CD is playing a small show at a bar, I was going to check it out. Would you want to come along?”

“Yeah.” His voice cracked. “Yeah, I could be into that.”

“Cool. I could pick you up when you're done work? Unless you wanted to meet there.”

“No, that works.

Alright. I'll swing by around five thirty. See you tomorrow Spencer.”

“Good night.”

“Night.” You hung up. 

Spencer flopped back down on the bed. He wasn't going to be able to sleep now. He gleefully thought about tomorrow night. A date. Was it a date? You hadn't said, but he hoped. Hoped you were feeling what he was feeling.

**

At five twenty five the next day Spencer packed up his bag, the excitement and nervousness that had been bubbling all day was too much.

“See you tomorrow.” He waved as he passed JJ and Emily.

“We were going to get dinner, want to come?” JJ called after him. 

“I have plans. Next time!” He said over his shoulder. It took everything in him to patiently wait for the elevator, and not run down the five flights of stairs. All day he’d been checking the time, cursing the slow drag of the clock. 

“Hold the elevator.” He could hear Garcia’s heels click as she rushed to the closing elevator. “Thank you. You aren't going to dinner?”

“I have plans. You?”

“I also have plans.” Garcia didn't offer anymore information, instead looking at something on her phone. Spencer didn't mind, he was planning in his head topics of conversation if there were any awkward silences, not that he expected there to be. Conversation with you flowed easily, like you’d known each other for years instead of a few weeks.

The elevator dinged and the door opened on the ground level, Spencer looked to Garcia, “Well, have a nice night!” He walked quickly out the door and waited patiently, his heart pounding with excitement.

“You waiting for a ride?” Garcia asked, joining him outside. 

“Yup.” 

“Me too. I'm going to see a band at a bar. Hence my outfit.” Garcia said, gesturing to her more colourful then normal outfit. 

“Is Y/N picking you up?” he asked, a deflated feeling in his chest. Maybe this wasn't a date. 

“How’d you know?”

“She's picking me up too.” 

“I didn't think that rock shows were really your thing?” She tilted her head and looked at him in the way that only Garcia was able too. “You thought this was a date.” She said softly, able to see right through him. “Oh my god. Spencer, I can text her and tell her I can't go.”

“No, she never said it was a date.” He looked at his feet, nudging a rock around, anything to avoid the way Garcia was looking at him. 

“But you wanted it to be a date, because you like her.” Garcia opened her mouth to add something, but stopped herself when you pulled up.

“Hi there.” You called though the open window.”You guys looking for a ride?”

“Sit in the front.” Garcia whispered, pushing him towards the car. 

“So kids, how was school.” You asked them when they while buckled in, flashing that gorgeous smile at both of them, and Spencer melted into a puddle. 

Spencer didn't say anything at first, all the confidence he’d had coming into this was shot, and he was glad when Garcia started to talk, leading the conversation. 

He had made up his mind. Tonight was the night. He was going to buck up and ask you on a date. A real date. He wished he’d talked to Morgan before leaving to get some advice. He had next to no experience in this field and was feeling very out of his element at the prospect of going into this with out having done any research. 

**

“Are you having fun?” You said loudly, turning to look at Spencer.

“What?” He said, squinted as he leaned in to hear you better.

“I said are you having fun.” You said into his ear.

“Surprising, yes.” He said, so close to you that you could feel this warm breath on your skin. You liked to think of yourself as a relatively confident woman, but there was something about Spencer and the way he looked at you that always made you forget how to speak. 

“What did you think of the opening band?” You asked, resting your hand on his chest as you got bumped by someone, pressing you closer to him. 

“I could see the appeal.” He smiled while you dropped your hand to your side, letting it brush softly against his.

You were glad he had said he would come. You had been waiting for an excuse to see him again, and Clara had pointed out that you could very well be the one to ask him on a date. You were a modern woman after all. This wasn't a date, per say, but it was a step in the right direction. Clara had been over the moon at the prospect of you not spending another night in the emergency room.

In hindsight, you probably should have told him that Penelope was coming with you, since you’d invited her first. The two of you had really bonded in the short time you’d known her. You were just thankful for a friend outside of work, and she was always glad to tell you, unsolicited of course, about Spencer. You’d been excited that he’d said yes that you’d forgotten this important bit of information.

But now he was here with you looking incredibly gorgeous while he slightly bopped along to the music and you couldn't stop wishing he’d kiss you with those beautiful pink lips.

“This band, your favourite?” He asked, his hand now rested on your lower back. “I recognize a few songs of theirs from my CD.”

“My roommate in college loved them, I don't talk to her anymore, but I still listen to them.”

It had been hard to properly talk to each other during the show but when the three of you walked back to your car afterwards it's like the floodgates had opened. Spencer yammered on happily filling the car with facts about everything. You liked listening to him talk, and it was nice to see a bit of a sparkle in his eye while he spoke. 

“Well. This is me.” Penelope said as you pulled to a stop in front of her place, she’d insisted you drop her off first. “And now, I'm not one to meddle.” She started and you bit your lip to hide a smile, you didn't believe her for one second, “But, crazy idea. Maybe next time the two of you should go alone and have a real date? You know I love love, but watching the two of you make goo goo eyes at each all night while I'm here all alone. Very unfair.”

“Garcia.” Spencer gasped turning as red as you felt.

“I’m just saying Reid, you're a smart guy, but you're acting real dumb. Ask the pretty girl out on a date already.”

“Garcia.” Spencer said a little more sternly, but still with a tone of tenderness, “Good night.”

Penelope held up her hands, “I’ve said what I wanted to say. Good night. Reid, I love you. Y/N, I have a growing fondness for you. PG out young lovers.” 

The two of you watched in silence as she walked up her front steps, flashing a peace sign to you before going in.

“Is she… Always like this?” You asked.

“You should see her with a few cold brews in her.” He laughed nervously and looked over at you. “Obviously this wasn't the prelude I had imagined, but would you? Want to go on a date with me, that is.”

You wanted to get out of the car and do a happy dance, but decided to wait to do that until you got home, “Yeah. I’d like that.” You said, keeping your composure while you drove the short distance to his place. 

“Cool.” He said softly. From the corner of your eye you saw him smile to himself. 

“So, I’ll call you?” He said before getting out of your car.

“You’d better, or I’ll set Penelope after you.” You teased, getting a laugh out of him.

You watched as he walked up the front steps of his place, giving you a wave and a sweet smile before you went in. It’d be hours still until your heart stopped pounding hard in your chest.

You were going on a date with Spencer Reid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I just wanted to thank everyone whose been reading and commenting. I love reading comments! Honestly, sometimes when I don't feel like writing, reading the comments and seeing that people are enjoying my little daydreams really gets me going!
> 
> This is mostly just going to be like a fluffier story, but there will be some dramaticness that will test them. I'm just a suckered for a slow burn Spencer in love.
> 
> Her favourite song, by the way, "I'm not the sun" by the arkells.


	6. Look at the stars, look how they shine for you

Spencer felt like a complete and total asshole. This was the third time he’d had to cancel your date. You’d been understanding, like Spencer knew you would, but he worried this was a sign.

“Why do you keep checking your watch?” Morgan asked, flicking the light off on his desk and grabbing his coat.

“I had a date.”

“Ah, how is our dear Y/N?”

“I wouldn't know. I haven’t seen her since that concert.. This is the third time I've had to cancel on her.”

Morgan winced. “Three times?” They made their way to the elevator. 

Spencer groaned. “How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Date? Have a relationship?”

“You really like her, right?”

“Yeah. More than any other girl I’ve ever liked.”

“If you’re serious about her, you need to put in the work.”

“I am serious about her but, Morgan, I’ve blown her off three times.”

“She seems like the type of woman who would be understanding.”

Spencer looked down at his feet. “Maybe this is a sign. She too good for me anyway, this is probably for the best. She too amazing to be sitting around waiting for me.”

Morgan grabbed Spencer’s shoulder, “Hey. Don't sell yourself so short kid. Any lady would be lucky to have you.”

They walked down the hallway discussing where they’d get something to eat.

“Rain check on dinner?” Morgan asked.

“What?” 

“I think you have plans.” Morgan winked at him and walked ahead, passing you sitting on a bench, waving at you as he passed.

“Y/N?”

“Hi Spencer.”

“What are you doing here?”

“We have a date.” You smiled.

“How’d you know we were back?” Any doubt he was feeling disappear the second you smiled at him.

“Penelope called me.”

“She did?” He smiled, and made a mental note to get Garcia some flowers. 

“Maybe we could get some dinner? Unless you're tired, or ate already. Or maybe you just don't want to. I should have called.” You rambled adorably. 

“No. I want to.” Any tiredness he had felt had left the moment he had seen you.

“I drove here, but I saw this park on my way here, it looked like there were food trucks?”

“Anything you want.”

Together you walked to your car, awkward first date small talk passing between you. He let you pick once you’d found the food trunks, picking a taco trunk. 

You playfully argued over who was going to pay for the food. Spencer insisted, since he had asked you out initially, but you countered by pointing out that you had been the engineer of this date. You had finally relented and let Spencer pay. 

“Everything looks so good.” You said, scanning the menu. Spencer had to agree, he was having a hard time choosing too.

“Let's get one of each, and share, then pick which ones we like best, and get more.” He suggested.

“I like how you think Dr. Reid.” 

“I haven't eaten a real meal all day.” He explained. He’d been to anxious all day worrying about missing the date that he hadn't really thought about eating. 

Once the food was ordered the two of you went and sat at a picnic table. 

“You know, I had this grand plan for our date.” Spencer told you once the two of you had polished off an impressive amount of tacos, watching you from across the table. Your hair was loose, dancing with the breeze and a faint lavender scent of your perfume and something that was distinctly you drifting around him.

“Oh?” You took a sip of your mango soda. 

“I was going to take you to this restaurant that Rossi recommended, and there's this place nearby that has jazz.” He nervously played with the wrapper of his own soda. 

You smiled, reaching across the table, hesitating before touching him. “Is it alright if I…” You trailed off, he nodded, turning his hand so his palm was up and you set your hand in his. “Your hands are warm.” You said softly, almost absentmindedly while you laced your fingers into his. “You know, as far as first dates go, this ones been pretty alright.”

“Even though I canceled on you a bunch?”

“Surprisingly, I’ve been on many worst first dates?”

“Oh?”

You laughed again, “And a shocking amount of them were in a nice restaurant. So this,” You gestured around you at the picnic table and surrounding park, “This is oddly refreshing.”

“Did you maybe want to go for a walk? We could keep talking?”

“Sure.” You let go of his hand, and his heart dropped a little, missing the warmth. 

“Where do you want to go?” He asked.

You shrugged, “Maybe somewhere we can see the stars?” You stood and held out your hand, which he quickly took.

You walked hand in hand down the sidewalk while you told Spencer, at his insistence, about some of those awful dates. He had hoped to learn from whatever they’d done wrong.

“Here.” You said suddenly, stopping in your tracks.  
“Here what?” He said, watching you sit in the grass and lay back.

“We can lay and watch the stars.” You raised an eyebrow at Spencer when he didn't come lay next to you. “I bet you know all the constellations.” 

“Not all of them.” He replied, settling in the grass next to you.

“It's so beautiful, isn't it.” You said softly, watching the sky. Spencer had turned to watch your face as you studied the night sky. The look on your face made his chest squeeze. He understood that look. That look was how he felt when he read a good book, or watched an interesting documentary. He could watched you look at the stars all night, and he would have except that you turned your head to face him. “You're looking the wrong way.” You said softly, your eyes soft as you looked at him. “Tell me five of your favourite things.”

“Five?”

You nodded, “I can go first, if you want?” 

“Ladies first.”

“I like the colour yellow. I like the moon. I love earl grey tea lattes. I like those super predictable made for tv holiday movies, and I love rains storm.” You counted off on your fingers. “Now you.”

“I love coffee, need it to live. I like when its cold outside and I had nothing to do so I get to stay warm in my bed. I like the way old books smell. I love jello, especially red jello, and I really like spending time with you.” He blushed at the last one. 

“I like spending time with you too.” The two of you looked at each other, not saying anything, a comfortable silence.

“What is it about the moon that you like so much?” He asked finally, looking away and up at the sky.

“Well. The moons always there. Whenever I was homesick as a kid, I’d look at the moon and know it was the same moon everyone back home could see. Or, like the other night, when you called me. You were so far away, but at the same time, we were under the same moon.” You chuckled softly, “That probably sounds dumb, and childish. Of course we all see the same moon.” You sighed. “It's just, that there's something I find magical about the moon.”

“I don't think that’s dumb. I think that's beautiful.”

“I uh, I’ve never told anyone that before.”

“Oh. Thank you for telling me.” You didn't respond, just kept looking up at the stars. “Can I ask why you were homesick as a child?”

“My parents died when I was eight. They were in a car accident. My Nana was supposed to be my guardian, but she didn't have the best health for a few years, so I moved around a bunch to live with different family members.”

“I'm sorry.” He wasn't sure what else he should say. He understood your pain in a way.

“It’s okay, it was along time ago.” You sniffed quietly, and Spencer was sure he saw you wipe away a tear. “I should be the one apologizing. I sure know how to kill the first date mood.”

“Please don't apologize. I know this isn't the same but, my mom has Alzheimer's, so understand the feeling of losing the people you love.”

“Your dad?”

Spencer shook his head, “He left when I was young, when things started to get bad. She had episodes when I was young, and it was too much for him, so it was just me and her until I was eighteen.”

“What type of episodes was she having?”

“She also has schizophrenia.”

“Oh Spencer.” You squeezed his hand, “I’m sorry you had to go through that alone.”

The two of you talked for a long time about your likes and dislikes. Things that made you happy, things that made you mad, but neither of you talked about work, which Spencer liked. As heavy as the earlier conversation was, he didn't know if he’d ever be ready to tell you about the scary parts of him.

“Are you free tomorrow night?” He asked when you pulled up in front of his building. 

“I could be free.”

“I'd like to take you on another date. A proper date.”

“Define a proper date? Because this was a pretty great first date in my opinion.”

“I want to you somewhere I love, because I think you’d really like it.”

“What are the odds on you getting called into work tomorrow.”

“It's definitely possible, but I hope I don't.”

You leaned over and kissed his cheek, “I also hope you don’t. Good night Spencer.”


	7. There's a window open, to steal my heart

“I hate to tell you this Spencer, but I think it's closed?” You said. Spencer had been very secretive about this special place for your second date. He had picked you up at work at exactly the time he’d said he would, which didn't surprise you. He seemed like the punctual type.

You had stopped for one quick stop, as he had put it. A gas station. He had to fill up and he had sent you in for road trip snacks.

“Road trip?” You had asked with a raised eyebrow.

“We’ve got about an hour drive. If that's alright.” He pulled out his wallet and handed you twenty dollar bill.

“Interesting. Are we going to the city?”

“Snacks.” Was all he had said.

So you went in and got snacks while he filled his car, then the two of you set out on whatever adventure he had planned for you.

The hour long ride had gone quickly, the conversation flowing easily between the two of you. You liked talking to Spencer. He asked questions and really listened when you spoke. 

Once you’d arrived he parked, then came around to open your door for you, and easily took your hand, as if he’d been doing it for years, and the two you you walked up to the large building.

“Seriously Spencer, I think it's closed.” He had brought you to DC and you were standing outside the Smithsonian.

“Just, come on. Follow me.” He smiled, gently resting his hand on your lower back and leading you up the stairs.

“Dr Reid.” A man in a nice suit with a bow tie met you at the door. “It's so nice to see you again. It's been too long.”

“Hello Dr. Henry.” Spencer gave the man a small wave. “This is my, um. This is Dr. Y/L/N.” He gestured to you. 

“Dr. Y/L/N.” He shook your hand, “What type of Doctor are you?” He asked as you and Spencer followed him into the museum.

“Medical. I work at St. David's.”

“Oh, it's too bad we don't have our exhibit on the human body here anymore. That one was quite interesting, I think you’d have gotten quite the kick out of it.” Once called the three of you were inside Dr Henry locked the door behind you. “You’ll let Peter know when you're done, Dr Reid?”

“Of course. And thank you, Dr. Henry.”

“You two enjoy.” Dr Henry gave you both another smile and left the two of you alone.

“Have you ever been here before?” Spencer asked while you stared up at giant elephant display in front of you.

“Once. When I was little. He just lets you come here whenever you want?”

“I met Dr. Henry when I was guest lecturing at George Washington university, and we had gotten to talking, and yeah, I come sometimes when I want to think, or when I can’t turn my brain off at night.”

“How many dates have you brought here, because this is pretty impressive.” You teased, bumping his shoulder with yours and he chuckled softly.

“You’re the only date I’ve ever brought here. You're the only other person I’ve wanted to bring here. When you were talking about how you thought the moon was magical, that's exactly how I feel about being here. Just seeing everything laid out here, just the history of the earth.” Spencer’s cheeks had gotten a little red as he spoke, and he dropped his eyes. “I just felt like you’d understand.”

“I do.” You slipped your hand into his. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”

“Did you know that an average of 7.9 million people visit here every year?”

“I didn't know that. What else have you got?”

“The collection they have here contains more the 125 million different natural specimens and artifacts.”

“That can’t be real.”

“It is.” Spencer said excitedly. “And the hall of dinosaurs, which is my personal favourite, has forty six complete fossilized dinosaurs.”

“Wow. Will you show me?”

“Of course.” He smiled.

You wandered the museum together while Spencer excitedly told you facts about everything, and answered every question you could think of, even the ones you were sure would stump him. You could have listened to him talk forever. The way his eyes sparkled and his free hand waved around while he spoke was so endearing, almost as endearing as the way his thumb gently rubbed circles on the back of your hand, which he never let go of. 

“I’m sorry if you think I’m rambling. I do that sometimes. I can stop if you want to just look around.”

“What? No. I like listening to you talk.”

“You don’t think I'm a know it all?” He said almost sheepishly.

“Absolutely not. Did someone say you were? Because you know, I kick-box, so you say the word and I’ll pow.” You dropped his hand so you could shadow boxed the air, making Spencer throw his head back and laugh. 

“Easy there Rocky.”

“Spencer Reid, did you just make a pop culture references?” You gasped jokingly.

“Rossi made me watch it with him.” He reached for your hand again, and you gladly laced your fingers into his.

“For the record. I don’t think you're a know it all. I was raised in a house that really valued education and the desire to learn, so I very much admire that about you Spencer. And,” You shyly dropped your eyes, “You're pretty cute when you get all excited about what you're talking about.”

“Y/N?” He said softly, you looked up and met his beautiful brown eyes. “I really like you.” He said so softly, the way he was looking at you made you want to melt. 

“I really like you too.”

“Would it be alright if I kissed you?” 

Unable to speak, you quickly nodded your head. Spencer smiled, his eyes never leaving you. He brought his hands up to your cheeks, and gently cradled your face, pulling you in close while you rested your hands on his chest.

When his lips touched yours you felt sparks throughout your whole body. He was tentative at first, his lips soft against yours. You leaned in closer to him, deepening the kiss. 

“You're a really good kisser.” You sighed when you both finally came up for air. Spencer chuckled, his rested his forehead against yours. Your heart was pounding hard in your chest, and you were sure your face was a flushed as his was.

You’d never been kissed like that before, and as he drove you home at the end of the night your lips tingled at the anticipation of a goodnight kiss on your front step. Ever the gentleman, he walked you up to your door, and kissed you, like you’d hoped he would.

“I had a lot of fun tonight. Easily the best date I’ve ever been on.”

“Spencer smiled, I’ll call you tomorrow?”

“You’d better.”

He leaned in and kissed you softly one more time. “I will. I promise.” He tucked some loose hair behind your ear and sighed. “I should go.”

“You don't have to.” 

“No. I should. Sweet dreams Y/N.”

“You too Spence.”

You watched from your window as he drove away, smiling like an idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this was 100 percent inspired by Matthew Gray Gubler in the beauty inside.


	8. There's nowhere else to go, I hope that you'll stay the night

The early morning are was cool. Mornings like this should be calm and peaceful, but not today. The team was setting up a command post outside a bank. Two unsubs had taken a dozen hostages, shooting one and killing an off duty police officer who had shot one of the partners. 

“Spencer? What's going on?”

“Y/N? How'd you get past the barricade?” Spencer turned and was face to face with with you, you were dressed like you had been at the gym, and now that he thought about it, when the two of you had talked the night before you had mentioned that you would likely be going to a yoga class. “You shouldn't be here.” There were police everywhere and he was mad that you had been able to get through. 

You held up a black bag he recognized from the back of your car, a medical bag he had assumed for emergencies. “I told them I was a doctor. What's happening?”

“Armed men took hostages in the bank.” Emily said, joining you. “Dr Y/L/N, it's nice to see you.”

“Can I help at all?” You asked, looking from Spencer to Emily. 

“No, you should go home, Y/N. It's not safe here.” Spencer motioned to a uniformed officer who he was going to asked to escort you back to your car.

“Wait, Reid.” Emily looked over at him, she had a tone in her voice that made him nervous.

“No.” Spencer said flatly. He knew what Emily was going to say. “Absolutely not Emily.”

“What is it?” You looked looked expectantly at Emily, while silently shook his head.

“One of the hostage takers was shot. His partner wants a doctor for him, and said that if we send in a doctor he’d let them look at the hostages.” Emily explained to you, and Spencer's heart lurched in his chest at the mere thought of going in there.

“Okay, I'll do it. I can go in.”

“No. Absolutely not.” Spencer said again.

“Reid, they're having a hard time getting an ambulance through, and she's here, right now.”

“She's an unarmed civilian. You're just giving them another hostage. Go home Y/N.” He said sternly.

“I want to help.”

“Do you think you’ll be able to handle it.” Emily asked you.

“Yes. I used to work in the ER.” You said confidently, completely ignoring Spencer.

“I’ll go tell Hotch.” Emily said, leaving you and Spencer alone.

“Y/N, if you care about me at all, you’ll go home.”

Your eyes widened slightly and your nostrils flared “Really Spencer? Emotional manipulation?” You scoffed, “You don’t think I can handle this?”

“It's dangerous and you could get hurt.”

“Reid, Y/N.” Emily called, nodding for you to come over.

The two of you joined the rest of the team 

“I know this isn't an ideal situation, but if he dies, his partner could kill everyone in there before we get a chance to breach the door.” Hotch said slowly. “Y/N, we’ll get you a vest and Agent Morgan will explain to you what's going to happen.”

“What if she can't help him? What then Hotch? He could become unhinged and shoot her.”Spencer snapped. 

“Reid. We won't let it get to that. We’ll keep her safe.” Morgan said, putting his hand on Spencer's shoulder, which he roughly shrugged off.

“Reid.” JJ said but Reid walked away angrily.

“Are you seriously mad right now, Spencer?” You followed him. 

“It doesn't have to be you?” He snapped, grabbing a bullet proof vest out of the command tent and tossing it at you.

“Those people need help.” You said as you slide it over over head. 

“but it doesn’t have to be you, Y/N. We could get another doctor.”

“You’re allowed to risk your life every day to help people, but I can't?” You struggled to figure out how to do up the vest.

“So you acknowledge that you're risking your life?” He shook his head. “Please don't go in there.” His voice softened, more of a pleading as he closed the space better you “ I don't like this idea at all.” Spencer said, doing up the vest for you. 

“Those are someone's parents, or kids. I can't not do anything to try to help them. I'll be alright. Derek will be right outside.” You assured him, squeezing his hand. your words and smile didn't do anything to ease the way his heart was beating hard in his chest and the sick feeling he had. You’d only been dating each other for a few weeks, but Spencer had real feelings for you, and the idea of you in danger was enough to send him into immense panic. 

“You don't take this off. No matter what.”

“Okay.”

“Promise me.”

“Spencer. I promise I won't take this vest off until you say it's okay.”

“I don't like this.” He said again, he looked in you eyes to see if there was any hesitation that could justify him getting the plug pulled on you going in.

“It’s okay, I’ll be fine.” You put your hand on his, gently loosening the grip he had on your waist. 

He didn't want to let you go. He was too afraid to let you out of his sight. “Wait, before you go. I need to tell you something.”

“Tell me after.”

Morgan had come over. “You ready, Doc?” He asked. You looked at Spencer one last time, then nodded. 

Spencer watched from behind the police line while Morgan walked to the door of the bank, with you behind him. In his ear piece he could hear Morgan calmly explaining to you what you should do while inside. 

“She’ll be alright, Reid.” JJ said, putting her hand on Spencer’s back. 

“What if she can’t save him? The partner’s the dominant one, so much rage, if she can’t help the other one, he could kill her.”

“We won't let it get that far. She's a good doctor, and she’s smart.” 

Spencer watched the close caption video feed from the bank, now able to hear what was happening because of the mic you had on. He held his breathe, watching the man point his gun at you. your hands were up as you approach, calmly like Morgan had told you to do.

“You're the doctor?” He said.

“I'm Dr Y/L/N.”

“Drop your bag and kick it towards me, keep your hands up.”

You put down the bag and pushed it toward him with your foot. He looked through its checking what was in it. He motioned you to come towards him with the gun. He patted you up and down, checking you for a gun, and Spencer's stomach turned again at the idea of that man touching you . 

He lead you to wounded unsub, “Fix him.” He said curtly.

“Please. Let me help that woman first.” You stepped towards a woman laying on the ground. Some of the other hostages were trying to help the woman, a pool of the blood was on the ground. 

“No. Him first.”

“She’s going to die.” You said. 

They heard it before they saw it on the screen. The whack of the man hitting you across the face, and you hitting the ground. Spencer drew in a sharp breath. JJ was beside him and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Get up.” He snarled, pointing the gun at you again. “Him first, if she dies, she dies.”

“Okay.” There was a slight tremor in your voice. You crouched next to the unsub and started to work.

“Hi, I'm Dr. Y/L/N.”

“Please Ma’am. I don't want to die.” The unsub gasped.

“I'm going to help you as best I can. Can you tell me your name?”

“Hey. Look at me. No funny business.” The uninjured unsub said pointing his gun at you again.

“You're scaring him. I’m not going to hurt him, but I'll be able to work better without a gun pointed at my face the whole time.” You looked him right in the eye, all fear gone from you voice.

“She’s not showing him fear, she's brave.” Rossi said, now next to Spencer.

“It was foolish to sent her in.”

“I know kid, but they needed a doctor.”

Spencer focused on the screen again. The armed partner had left Maggie to work.

“I'm Y/N.” you offered to the man. You had some pincers and you were working to pull the bullet out of his abdomen. 

“Sam.”

“That's a cool tattoo you have, Sam.” You said.

“Garcia?” Emily said into her com “Are you able to zoom in on the tattoo?”

“Already running it through the database, but it is quite blurry.”

“Military tattoo?” You asked. He didn't say anything at first. “My dad was in the army, so we moved around a lot. My older brothers stationed in Fort hood, he has a cool one that his whole unit got.”

This caught Spencer's ear. “She thinks they're brothers.”

“How do you know?” JJ asked. 

“ She's an only child and her father wasn’t military. She's lying to him but, I think its for our benefit. She's talking to us.”

“Military tattoo, a ranger maybe?”

“Garcia. Look into the military databases and look into brothers. Both dishonourably discharged. Both would have money issues. One would have been for something violent. This kind of behaviour didn't just happen over mind.” Rossi said. 

You were working hard trying to stop the bleeding, “I need help.” You called out, loudly to get the attention of the other man.

“No. I'm not bringing in someone else to help you.” The unsub said.

“Look. I can help him but I need a extra set of hands. You need to help me.”

“Guys. I think she's trying to cause a distraction.” Spencer said, eyes glued to the screen, watching you speak to the unsub.

“Have your men get ready to go on my mark. We might have an opening.” Morgan said into a walkie talkie.

“I need help, do you really trust one of the hostages to help him? It has to be you” You said.

“Please Tommy.”Sam begged. Tommy hesitate, but kneeled beside you, setting his gun down. You calmly kept him distracted, giving him instructions.

“Go.” Luke said once Tommy’s hands were full helping you. “Quietly enter.”

Spencer's heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest, time slowing down while the SWAT team moved in. The second they breached the door, Tommy reached for his gun, and the SWAT team put him down. The second the threat was done you grabbed your bag and ran over to the woman bleeding on the floor and started working on her, shouting out commanded to the paramedics as they came in a few minutes later. You didn't let them look you over until everyone had been cleared out of the building.

You were sitting in the back of an ambulance, the paramedic checking you out when Spencer came over, leaning against the side watching. They had given you a few stitches on your cheekbone where you had been hit. You had blood from Tommy splattered across your face, and Sam’s blood stained you hands and sleeves and clothes, you had a far away look on your face.

“She won't take the vest off.” The other paramedic told Spencer.

“Spencer.” Your voice shook when you saw him. It was just them now, the paramedic giving them a moment. He hugged you, and you held on tight, clutching the back of his coat. 

“Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine. The woman?”

“They're going to do what they can, but she lost a lot of blood.”

“I tried. I tried to get to her first. But he wouldn't let me.” You said quickly, you were shaking and your breathing was fast.

“Y/N. You're in shock.” He said calmly while rubbing your back, “You need to try to calm down.”

“No, I'm fine.” 

“Hey. Look at me. Focus on me. You did such a good job.” He held you hand to try to anchor you. “How’d you know they were brothers.”

“They had the same eyes.” Your breathing was slowing down. 

“You were right.” He smiled at you and brushed your hair back. “You can take this off now.” He helped you with the vest. 

“There's blood on it.”

“Y/N. You should probably go to the hospital, and get checked out.”

“I'm okay Spencer, I promise. I just want to go home and shower.”

“I’ll ask an officer to take you home, you shouldn't be driving.”

“Can you take me home?”

“Yeah, of course I can take you home. Let me tell the team I'm leaving.”

Reid took his coat off and put it over your shoulder and they went to where the team was.

“I'm taking Y/N home.” He looked at Hotch, who nodded before turning to you. 

“Thank you Y/L. You did a brave thing thing today.”

“You did good, kid.” Rossi patted you on the back. You smiled, but it didn't reach you eyes. You waved a silent goodbye to everyone and lead Spencer to your car, not in a any sort of a chatty mood today.

*****

Spencer was looking at your collection of books when you came out in some pyjamas. Freshly showered, your bloodied clothes in a garbage bag, which you handed him.

“You didn't have to stay.” 

“I wanted to make sure you were settled before I left.”

“Thank you. I’ll be okay.”

“You have almost as many as me.” He looked back at the books. 

“They were my dads. He was a professor.”

“Have you read them?”

“Most of them.” 

“Which is your favourite?”

You considered a moment, scanning the shelves. “This one.” You pulled out a small blue book and handed it to him. 

“Le petit Prince.” He smiled down at the book. “A good choice.”

You sniffled from next to him and Spencer set down the book before wrapping his arms around you. You held on tight to him, crying softly into his chest.

"Hey. What wrong?"

“You were right. I shouldn't gone in.”

“Shhh. Your okay. I'm here.”

You reached up and grabbed his face, pulling him in for a kiss. There was a desperation in the kiss as you pulled him up against you, your fingers fumbling to undo the buttons on his shirt.

“No.” Spencer pulled away, holding you at arms length with his hands on your shoulders. “Not like this.” 

“It's okay.” You reached for him again, but he held fast. 

“Not like this.” He repeated. You were vulnerable and he wasn't going to take advantage of that, no matter how often he thought about it, which was often, but didn't want the first time the two of you were intimate to be tainted by this terrible day.

“Can you at least stay? I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

“I could take the couch.”

“Or, we could cuddle? I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

He agreed to stay and the two of you got in your bed. Her head was rest against him and he was playing with your hair. Your breathing had slowed down and Spencer was sure you were asleep.

“Hey, Spence?” You mumbled.

“Mhmm?”

“Earlier you said you wanted to tell me something?” You said slowly, already half asleep.

“I’ll you later. Go to sleep now.”


	9. His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning this chapter is **saucy**. Hopefully ya'll enjoy, I don't really think I'm too great at writing these kinds of chapters

“Y/N. I swear, you are asking for trouble.” Spencer said to as you packed another snowball. The first one had hit him square in the chest and had taken him by surprise. 

“Is that so, Spencer?” You threw another, getting him in the shoulder this time, the snowball exploding and spraying him in the face.

“That's it.” Spencer ran after you, and grabbed you around the waist, making you shriek in delight as he lifted you and threw you into a pile of fluffy snow, him on top of you. 

“Come here.” You pulled him by this scarf down to you and kissed him. He smiled against your lips and kissed you deeply, and you sighed softly. You were certain that you’d never tired of the way he kissed you. So much passion and desire.

This was your sixth date. You’d met him at his place then the two of you had walked a few blocks to a park by his place. The two of you had then rented some skates and skated on the frozen pond. Spencer was adorably awful at skating and had fallen, taking you down with him more then once. 

“Spence? You said, pulling away from his lips.

“What is it?”

“I'm cold.” The snow under you had started to melt, dampening your clothes.

“Me too.” He got off you and helped you up. “Let's go back to my place to warm up.” 

“I could throw your clothes in the dryer. I probably have something you could where, if you want.” Spencer said as you walked into his place.

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Wait here.” He left you you standing in the living room while he went into his bedroom, returning quickly with some flannel. “The bathrooms there.”

“Thanks.” You took the clothes and shut the door behind you. You felt an anxiousness in your stomach as you took off your damp clothes and replaced them with Spencer's warm flannel pyjama top, leaving your legs bare. 

“I could make us some tea, or maybe some cocoa while we wait for your clothes to dry.” Spencer called yo you from his bedroom, emerging dressed in a new outfit, his own damp clothes in his hands. You didn’t answer and just followed him to the dryer, tossing your clothes in with his.

“So? Coffee? Tea? Cocoa?” He asked after he’d gotten the dryer going.

“Or…” You moved closer and rested your hand on his chest, biting your lip nervously. “I think there's something else we could do to warm up.” You lowered your voice while you spoke, slowly running your hand down his body, stopping at his belt before looking back up. 

Spencer cleared his throat, his ears turning red. “What did you have in mind?”

You caught his hand in yours and brought it to your lips, “I think you know what I have in mind.” You softly kissed his fingers between words. 

“Y/N. I, um.” He cleared his throat again and stepped back slightly, dropping his eyes.

“Oh my god Spencer. I'm so sorry.” You quickly dropped his hand “It's okay if you don't want to.” A flush spread to your own face as you thought back to the first time you’d met him and his hesitance to shake your hand. You shouldn't have assumed he’d be alright with physical intimacy the same way you were. The warmth of embarrassment that you could have overstepped his boundaries flooded your body.

“No. Trust me, I want to. I really want to. It’s just…” He rested his hands on your hips and sighed, searching for the words.

“Are you … a virgin?”

“It's not that, it's just that it's been… awhile and I'm not sure I’d know what to do. I mean, obvious I know what to do, I just mean that, I don't know what people are into these days, if that makes sense? I had planned to do some research before we were intimate for the first time, but, well, the Internet is kind of a strange place, and I think I have more questions then answers.” He blurted out in seemingly one breath, his cheeks turning bright read.

“You did research?”

He finally looked up and caught your eyes. “I really like you Y/N, and I wanted to make sure you enjoy yourself.”

Your heart busted at the sincerity on his face, “You’re an amazing man Spencer Reid.” You gently brushed some of his curls of his face, “And the fact that you're so concerned with me enjoying myself makes me so happy, and you know, the first time with a new partner isn't always great, it takes time to learn each others bodies and find the way they liked to be touched.” You took his hand again and gently pulled him to his bedroom and pushed him onto his bed, “If you want to stop at any point, tell me, okay? I want you to be comfortable.” You said softly into his ear while you undid his belt, nibbling his earlobe while you worked his pants and underwear down his hips, licking your lips in anticipation at what you saw. 

He was a lot bigger then you’d imagined, and already painfully hard, waiting for you.

“This is still okay?” You asked, kissing the skin just under his belly button while you looked up at him. His eyes were wide and his mouth ajar.

“Yes.” He manageable to say while vigorously nodding his head.

“Good.” You smiled, holding eye contact with him while you slowly took him into your mouth. His head lulled back and he groaned softly while you twirled your tongue around the tip before gently sucking. You slowly started to bob your head, taking more and more of him into your mouth. You rested a hand on his thigh, using the other one to gently play with his balls. His hand shot to the back of your head, tangling his fingers in your hair.

His eyes were closed and he was a writhing mess. As if he couldn't help himself his hips started to buck, forcing his cock deeper into your throat and making you gag.

“Shit. Y/N. I’m sorry.” He sat up quickly, his cheeks were rosy and he had a thin layer of sweat that had damped his curls. His eyes searched your face for anything amiss. “Are you alright?”

“I’m alright. How about you? Does this feel good, baby?” You lowered your mouth back down onto him, sucking and running your tongue along the sensitive vein and his hips bucked again. His eyes fluttered shut and he softly moaned your name over and over again. You could tell he was close by the way he squirmed and bucked. You could feel this cock pulsing in your mouth, ready to exploded at any second, so you quickened your pace, his hips thrusting a few more times as his body shook while he came in your mouth. Only once he stilled you pulled your mouth off of him, and moved to lay next to him. 

He was so beautiful like this. Cheeks flushed, lips parted as he tried to catch his breath.

“Was that okay?” You scooted a little closer to him so that you could rest your head against his shoulder.

“That was unlike anything I've ever experienced.” He said finally, lazily rolling his head to face you. “I’ve never done that before.” He said softly, his eyes searching your face again. 

“Did you like it?” 

“Very much so.”

You smiled, “Good.” 

The two of you didn't speak for a few minutes, and just silently looked at each other. Spencer finally broke the silence, clearing his throat.

“Y/N?”

“Yes Spencer?”

“Could you show me how um, how you like to be touched?” His cheeks reddened again slightly. 

“Of course I can. Give me your hand?” He put his hand into yours and you brought it up to your lips, and put his index and ring finger into your mouth. You swirled your tongue around his fingers then once you were happy with their dampness you guided his hand down your stomach, under your borrow shirt and into your panties. You sighed softly as you pressed his fingers against your clit and started to move them in slow circles. Once he found a rhythm that seemed to enjoy, you moved your hand away, resting it on his forearm while he worked you closer and closer to your release.

“Should I put some fingers inside you?” He asked softly never faltering in his rhythm.

“Mhmm.” You nodded, letting your eyes fall shut and your head rest against his shoulder.

It took him a second to finger out how to readjust his hand, his thumb taking over the circles while he slipped his index and middle fingers inside you.

“Do a ‘come here’ motion.” You said, your voice throaty as you verged on begging. He obliged your request and you could feel you were so close. “Oh Spencer.” You said as you tightened around his fingers, “Don’t stop.” A few more strokes and you came into his hand, a soft whine filling the room as you finished.

“You're so beautiful.” He whispered as he slide his fingers out of you and brought them to his lips this time and licked them clean. 

“And you were worried.” You giggled, leaning in to kiss him. 

“There's something else I want to try. If that's alright?”

You nodded and he sat up, and knelt on the floor in front of the bed, pulling you down to the edge of the bed. He slowly pulled your panties down, setting them on the floor and rested your legs on his shoulders. He placed soft kisses all the way down one leg, starting at the knee, then back up he other.

He slide his fingers back into you and your back arched, making him chuckle. “You're so wet.” He said softly, moving his fingers the way you’d told him to.

“That's all because of you.” You whined softly. His fingers were alright, but there was something else you wanted. He licked his lips and lowered his face. 

“Up a little. And maybe a little to the left?” Spencer followed your instructions, his eyes glancing up at you every so often to make sure it was alright. “There.” You gasped, your head falling back as you now tangled your fingers into his hair.

He alternated between sucking and lipping and he had you coming again in no time. You covered your mouth to muffle the moans of immense pleasure, trying to be mindful of the fact that Spencer lived in an apartment, and you knew that wasn't a conversation he was going to want to have with his neighbours. 

Spencer seemed unaware that you’d already cum and kept up his relentless pace, bringing you again to the edge, this time harder and more forceful then the last. You were so sensitive, your whole body trembling and he just kept going.

“Spencer.” You managed to gasp. “Spencer stop for a sec.” He sat up quickly again, that same look that he’d done something wrong clouded his face while he looked at you.

“Are you alright?” He asked, searching your face, his chin slick with your pleasure.

“I'm amazing.” You tried to push yourself up but your arms felt like jello. “You're amazing. I just need… I need.”

“What do you need? Tell me baby. Anything.”

“Do you have condoms?”

“Yes.”

“Get them.” You licked your lips. Spencer nodded and practically ran out of the room. 

While you were alone you pulled off your shirt and readjusted your self in his bed, resting your head on his pillow.

“Wow.” He said when he came back in. “Beautiful.” He said, getting in his bed next to you. He opened the condom and you eagerly watched while he slide it on himself.

Once he was inside you he went slow, going deeper inside with every stroke. He continued his slow pace until he was completely inside you. You wrapped your legs around his hip, wanted him as deep as you could get him. 

He lowered his face and kissed ever inch of you he could reach while he rolled his hips, slamming into you over and over. The sounds your bodies made as they slapped together mixd with the gentle moaning was beautiful. You wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him even closer, your foreheads rested together.

The familiar bubble in your abdomen grew and grew until it finally burst, your body arching up against Spencer, moaning loudly, not caring what the neighbours would have to say, while he continued thrusting hard and deep into you until finally his hips stuttered and he groaned loudly, his body collapsing against yours.

You rubbed his back while the two of you paid there, trying to catch your breath. Spencer finally pulled out of you and rolled over, still gasping for breath. 

“I'm in love with you.” He said softly, rolling over to face you. “That's what I was going to say that day. That I love you. And it's probably way too fast to be saying that, but I do. I love you. And, don't feel like you need to say it back if you aren't ready. I just needed to tell you.”

“I love you too.” The look of relief on his face made your heart warm. You leaned over and kissed him, “Not to ruin the mood, but I’’ll be right back. I really need to pee.” 

You scurried to his bathroom and peed. As you washed your hands you looked at yourself in the mirror, unable to wipe the giddy smile you had off your face. 

He loved you. 

You went back to his room and chuckled softly to yourself. He was fast asleep. Not that you could blame him, your body felt like it was going to drop from exhaustion. You crawled into bed beside him, resting your head on his chest. Even in his sleep he reached out for you, wrapping his arms around you. The sound of his breathing gently lulled you to sleep.

**

The rumbling in Spencer's stomach woke him up. He was disoriented in the way that only happened from a middle of the day nap. He looked over at his alarm clock. 8:32 pm. No wonder he was hungry, he hadn't eaten anything since noon, and the two of you had work up quite the appetite. 

Careful to not wake you Spencer untangled himself from you and slipped out of his room.

He looked into his fridge and made a mental note to make sure to keep it stocked better from here on out. If you were going to be spending the night here sometimes he wanted to make sure there was actually something for you to eat.

He pulled out a cartoon of eggs and got to scrambling them while making some toast. It wasn't a feast, but it would be enough to fill your bellies. 

“What smells good.” You said softly, wrapping your arms around him.

“Dinner. I was going to bring it to you in bed.”

“Such a gentleman. I should be the one making you dinner. I think I came more today with you then I did with my last boyfriend the entire time we dated.”

“I'm very glad to hear that.” He turned to face you, his thumb stroking your cheek, “So, dumb question, but did you want to sleep over?”

“Yes. But, after that nap, I'm not sure we’ll be doing much sleeping.”


	10. Good morning beautiful, how was your night? Mine was wonderful, with you by my side.

Early the next morning Spencer's phone buzzed loudly on his nightstand , startling him awake. You groaned softly and patted around on the table on your side, looking for your phone.

“It’s mine.” Spencer croaked. He was so tired. The two of you had been up most of the night having sex and talking, , only falling asleep as the sun was starting to come up.

“Don’t answer it.” You snuggled up closer to him, your skin so warm against him. 

“They’ll just call back.” He finally found his phone, “Hello?” He answered it.

“Hey,where have you been? I’ve been calling you.” JJ’s voice said over over the line. “We have a case.”

“Yeah. Okay. I’ll be there.”

“Spence, you okay?”

“Yeah. I'm great. I’ll see you soon.” He hung up and rubbed his eyes. “I have to go to work.” He said to you, reaching over and patting your leg.

“Call back and say you're sick and stay in bed with me.” You curled up close to him, tracing shapes on his bare chest. “I’ll write you a doctor's note.”

“You have no idea how badly I want to say yes.” His thumb traced the tattoo along your back, a quote from your favourite book, “Y/N. Last night was, I think, the most amazing night of my life.”

“Last night was pretty fucking great, wasn't it.” You giggled. “Nine times in one night, seriously must be a record.”

“Well…” Spencer started but you reached over and covered his mouth.

“Please don't tell me a Guinness world record statistic.” You said, making Spencer laugh.

“I won't.” He mumbled through your hand. “I really do need to go, though.”

“I know, but I wish you didn't.”

“I’m going to jump in the shower and get ready. But please don't leave.”

“Cute how you think I'm getting out of this bed a second before I need to.” You yawned and burrowed yourself deeper into the blankets. “I can drive you to work on my way home if you want.”

After Spencer showered and packed up his bag, you drove him to work, and the two of you sat in your car outside of his office.

“Call me whenever you get back and I can pick you up, and maybe you can stay over at my place.”

“Probably a good idea since I have no food at my place.”

“Be careful, okay? No 2x4’s to the face?”

“I’ll try.” He leaned over and put a soft kiss on your lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

Spencer got out of the car and waved before heading in.

“My man.” Morgan caught up to him, patting his shoulder. “Did you get some loving last night?”

“What? No?”

“Reid. It's seven thirty in the morning and she's dropping you off at work?”

“So?”

“What are the two of you doing together so early on a Sunday?”

“We were getting breakfast.”

“I know I'm no genius, but I ain't blind kid. And that hickey on your neck speaks for itself.” Spencer pressed his lips together. “So things are getting serious?”

“Yeah. I think so.”

“I'm happy for you kid. Just, uh, remember to use protection.”

Spencer groaned, “Shut up.”


	11. Cold light wakes me in the morning, your side is empty, I was calling out to you.

You weren't sure what had woken you, but half asleep you shivered, your bare skin cold in the night air. You reached over, wanted Spencer to hold you. He was always so warm, and whenever you got cold, and moved closer to him, he'd hold you, even if he was fast asleep.

You patted the other side of the bed for him, but he wasn't there. You sat up and checked the time. It was very early, the sky still pitch black, and you wondered if he had been called in to work until you noticed his phone still charging on the table on his side of your bed. 

You wrapped yourself in a throw blanket from the end of your bed, and went out to the living room. Spencer was sitting on the couch reading, a stack of books on the table beside him. You just watched him for a moment.

“Hey baby, you okay?”

He looked up from the book and smiled. “Can’t sleep. Too much coffee.” He looked so tired.

You chewed the inside of your check, “Did you have another nightmare?” You asked softy.

“I don't have nightmares.” He replied, setting the book on the table and smiled at you again. 

“Spencer.” You sat next to him, resting your hand on his knee. “How many times have we slept next to each other?”

“We’ve slept next to each other sixty seven times since December second.” He said so matter of factly it made you smile. “You're so pretty.” He leaned in to kiss you but you pulled away, making him pout.

“No. You're trying to distract me to avoid a conversation. Naughty boy.” You wagged your finger at him. Your moved your hand from his knee to his hand and sighed. “Look. If you don't want to talk about it we don't have to. Just know that I love you and I'm here.”

He didn't say anything at first, just held your hand tight and avoided your eyes. “I can’t tell you these things.”

“Why?” You pleaded.

He sniffed quietly, some tears dropping onto his lap, “I’m afraid that if I tell you about the dark scary parts, all my baggage, you won't love me anymore.”

“Hey.” You knelt on the floor in front of him, taking his face in your hands, wiping his tears away with your thumbs. “Look at me. Nothing you say to me is going to change how I feel about you, alright? I love you Spencer. More then I’ve ever loved anyone else.”

“It's a lot.” He sighed sadly.

You took his hands in your and kissed them, “Then it's a good thing I’m off tomorrow.” You stood and gently pulled him up, “Come on. Let's go back to bed and we can talk.”

The two of you talked all night and he told you everything. Every dark part of him. Every nightmare.

Unsure where to start, he started the the beginning and told you about his childhood. The abandonment and hurt he’d felt when his father left, and the fear that he had when his mother would have episodes. He told you about the bullying he’d experienced in high school and your heart ached. He cried when he told you about how at eighteen he had been the one who had to have his mother committed. 

He then moved onto this career in the FBI and as he spoke you finally understood the sadness you saw in his eyes. He’d seen and experienced so many terrible things. He broke down when he told you about when he’d been been taken hostage by an unsub and been forced to take drugs, and shame in his voice as he explained how that lead to him struggling with substance abuse. He’d since become clean, but told you about how he sometimes feared that he could so easily fall back into it, and how he almost had a few years earlier when Emily had faked her death. As he continued it broke your heart that such an amazing person had had to go through so much much. 

Your head was rested on his chest as the sun started to come up, his fingers softly playing with your hair as you were about to drift asleep. 

“Y/N, are you still awake?” He asked after a long silence.

“Mhmm.” You rolled your head to face him.

“There's something else I need to tell you about. Someone else I need to tell you about. There was a girl before you who I loved. Her name was Maeve.”

“Was?”

He nodded, his eyes welled up. “She was killed.” He said softly. “She had a stalker and she was in hiding. I tried to save her, tried to trade myself for her, tried to convince her stalker that I loved her instead of Maeve, I even told Maeve I didn't love.” Tears fell down on to the blankets while he spoke, “it didn't matter. She killed her right in front of me.”

“Spence.” You whispered, squeezing his hand.

“She died before I could tell her that I loved her.”

“She knew.”

“I didn't think I’d ever feel that way again about anyone else. Then I met you, and I felt alive again, and didn't feel so sad, but sometimes I have this guilt that I shouldn’t be happy, and that if I can feel this deeply in love with you that I’m betraying her.”

“She wouldn't have wanted you to be alone Spencer. I know I wouldn't want you to be.”

“I know.” He sniffed, “You know, she would have really liked you.”

“If you loved her, she must have been pretty great.”

“I’ll tell you about her sometime, but now I think we should try to sleep.”

“I'm not even tired.” You mumbled as you curled up next to him.

“You're a terrible liar.” He kissed your forehead, “Good night. I love you.”

“I love you too.” You managed to say before drifting to sleep in his arms.


	12. What if your love was my one and only shot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so there's a little bit of a time jump here, but it was needed for the story.
> 
> Enjoy!

Thirteen blissful months you and Spencer had been together. By far the longest relationship he’d ever been in. Things between the two of you were amazing. Spencer was happy and had never felt so loved and safe in his life, and you were thriving with the family you’d gained with Spencer and his team, them having embraced you with open arms. Spencer was so loved up when he was with you, and he had some big plans to make things permanent. 

“What do you want to do today?” Spencer asked you while you showered. He had arranged to have the weekend off, and to not be on call so that the two of you could spend the whole weekend together. 

“Brunch, maybe? And we need to get some groceries, and it's supposed to be beautiful out, we should go for a walk.” You replied. The shower turned off, and you stepped out and Spencer wrapped you in a fluffy towel, kissing your forehead. 

“Oops.” You let the towel fall off body to the ground, wagging your eyebrows.

“Are you trying to seduce me, Dr Y/L/N?”

“I don't know, is it working, Dr Reid?” You tilted your head and gave him a coy smile.

“I thought you wanted brunch. We did work up quite the appetite already this mornings.” He leaned down and put a soft peck on your lips. He thought about how thirty minutes earlier he’d woken up to your lips on him. 

“Why don't we make it lunch, and we go another round.”

He opened his mouth to agree, but his phone buzzing loudly on the bedside table stopped him.

“It's your day off.” You said while you both looked at the ringing phone. It stopped buzzing, but it was just a matter of time before it would ring again. 

“It must be something important.” He said as it started buzzing again. 

As he answered his phone yours started to ring too. You gave each other a puzzled and you went over and answered it. 

“Reid. I’m so sorry, I know what you had planned for today, but we need to come in.” Garcia voice said over the phone. 

“What's happening? I think Y/N’s also getting called into work.” He was watching you from across the room. Your call had been brief, and as soon as you hung up you’d started getting dressed in your scrubs.

“There have been a series of bombings.”

“I’ll be there in half an hour.” He hung up with out saying goodbye.

“They need hands in the emergency room.” You told him while you tied back your still damp hair. “I’ll drop you off on my way?”

“Spence. I'm so sorry. I know you had big plans for tonight.” Garcia said to Spencer quietly. It was hours later and the team was in the middle of coordinating with various agencies. Homeland security, the CIA and the FBI all together trying to figure out how these attacks were happening. 

“It’s okay. There will be other nights.” He smiled at her, looking up from the file he was reading. 

“Do you have it with you? Can I see it again?”

Spencer reached into his pocket and pulled out the tiny wooden box and slide it across the table to Garcia. 

She opened it and squealed. “Y/N’s a lucky woman. She’s going to love this.” She smiled down at the delicate emerald engagement ring that his mother had helped him pick out and Spencer smiled again, to himself this time. 

“Garcia. Do you mind giving me and Spence a minute.” JJ said, coming into the room, the serious tone in her voice alarmed him slightly.

Garcia closed the ring box and placed in from of Spencer, squeezing his shoulder while she passed him, shutting the door behind her. 

“Spence. There's been another bombing.” She said gently, and his heart started pounding hard in his chest.

“Where?”

“The state prison.”

Spencer heaved a sigh of relief. “That doesn't really fit the profile. Was anyone hurt?”

“No. But Spence, that's not all.”

“Oh?”

“They loaded the prisoner onto a bus to evacuate them, and take them somewhere else. One prisoner is missing.”

“Who?”

“Cat Adams.”

***

“Spencer. Are you sure about about this?” JJ asked as she parked her car in front of your place. He didn't answer right away, looking at your place. The lights were on. He tried to picture you in there. You were likely making dinner, dancing around the kitchen as you cooked. “We can protect her.”

Spencer thought about Hailey and Maeve. How they hadn't been able to protect them. “No. This is the only way.” He reached back into his pocket and pulled out the tiny box and set it on the dashboard. He had imagined tonight going so differently. “You’ll wait for me?”

“Of course.”

Spencer went and let himself in with his key, the sound of your soft singing coming from the kitchen. He paused, wanting to savour this memory, wanting to give you one more moment of peace.

“Hey baby.” Your voice pulled him out of his trace, “Are you coming in or are you just going to stand there all night?”

“I can’t stay.”

“Oh?” You came over and kissed his cheek. “Are you hungry? Dinner’s almost ready, I pack you some to go?”

“No. Thanks. I actually need to talk to you about something.”

“Sounds serious.” You teased, but noticed the look on his face, “Is it serious?”

Spencer nodded, dropping his eyes.

“Are you okay? Is it your mom?”

He shook his head, he couldn't make the words come out.

“Spence, you're scaring me. What's wrong?” You reached out and held his hand. 

“I don't think we should see each other anymore.” He said, his voice wobbling slightly.

“Excuse me?”

“I don't think we should see each other anymore.” He repeated, louder this time. 

“Are you breaking up with me?” You dropped his hand and he instantly missed the warmth of your skin. 

He nodded, dropping his eyes again, blinking back tears. 

“I thought we were happy.” Your brows were furrow, confusion clouding your eyes while you tried to think of what had changed between this morning and now.

“We were.”

“Help me understand then Spencer. People who are happy together don't just break up. Explain to me what's wrong here.”

“I cheated on you.” He said softly. He wished he hadn't been looking at you when he said those words. The heartbreak on your face twisted his stomach. 

“Who?” A single tear slipped down your cheek. “JJ?”

“Yes.”

More tears rolled down your face, “Is she waiting outside for you.”

He nodded again.

“Get out.” You whispered.

“Y/N, I am sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“Get out of my house. I can't even look at you right now.”

Spencer set his key on your table and went back into the night air, and you slammed the door behind him. He felt numb as he got back in the car with JJ.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. I want to find Cat Adams and put her back in prison.” Spencer said as he buckled his seatbelt. He grabbed the ring box off the dashboard and put it back in his pocket. He vowed to himself that he would put her back in prison and explain everything to you, and beg you to forgive him.


	13. You were everything, everything that I wanted. We were meant to be, supposed to be but we lost it.

Spencer looked up at the moon like he always did these days, and he wondered if you were thinking about him that same way he was thinking about you. In the three months since he had broken up with you, you had been all he thought about. He always wished he could sleep better at night, because he’d be able to see you in his dreams, and in his dreams you were happy. In his dreams Cat Adams was a long forgotten memory and all that matter was that the two of you were together.

But these three months hadn't been a dream. They’d been a nightmare. A few times they’d thought they were close to catching Cat, but every time she slipped away. All Spencer wanted was for this to be over, and for the chance to explain everything to you. The chance to love you again. That was the only thing getting him through these past few months. The hope that one day he could make this right.

“You okay kid?” Rossi asked. The team had gotten a lead at a warehouse. When they’d arrived Hotch had stationed Rossi and Spencer outside, claiming it was to keep an eye on the exit, but Spencer knew it was to keep him away from Cat if she was in there. 

“Just tired. I haven't been sleeping well.” His phone started to ring again. He glanced down and it was your name on the display. He hadn't spoken to you since that day three months ago, Garcia had brought you a box of you stuff from Spencer’s place, and had returned with a box of his stuff, a clean break. Neither of you had tried to contact the other until today. This was the third time today you’d called, and it was the third time he’d sent the call right to voice mail. He was afraid of what this call could be. Maybe you tearful, maybe you angry, neither were something he could stomach right now.

“We’re going to find her, Ried.”

“But when. Y/N’s going to move on.” Spencer’s voice caught as he thought about the possibility that they couldn't find Cat for weeks, months or even years.

“Building is clear, she isn't here, but you guys should come and check this out.” Morgan's voice said over their ear pieces. 

Spencer sighed softly. He hadn't gotten his hopes up that this was going to be the time they’d get her. His phone buzzed again in his hands.

“You should talk to her.” Rossi said, patting Spencer's shoulder as he passed him to head inside to join the team.

Spencer breathed in a deep breathe and answered. “Hello?”

“You're a hard man to reach, Spencie.”Cat’s voice said on the other end of the line. He felt all the blood drain from his face. “Won't even answer the pretty Doctor’s calls.”

“Y/N.” He whispered. His body frozen in fear, and his heart pounding so hard in his chest as he imagined the worst. 

“She's alive. For now. You should come join our little party.”

“How do I know you really have her?” 

“You're at that warehouse by now right? Look around, what do you see?”

Spencer quickly scanned the area, his stomach dropping when he noticed your car parked on the street out side, “You could have just stolen this.” He said, running over to the car, and finding the door unlocked, the keys sitting in the car waiting.

“Check the glove box.”

He reached over and opened it, gasping at what he saw. Your hospital ID badge and the necklace he’d given you for your birthday. 

“Cat, if you hurt her…” 

“You’ll what? You’ll put your hands on me? That's fine baby, you know I like it rough.” Cat teased him over the phone. “Here's what you're going to do Spencie. You're going to throw this phone and your gun out the window and under the seat there's another phone. When I'm sure no ones following you, I'll call you and give you an address.”

“I want to talk to her.” Spencer choked out. “I need to know she's still alive.”

“You don't believe me?”

“Let me talk to her, Cat. Then I’ll do anything you want.”

“Anything?” She purred in a way that made Spencer sick to his stomach.

“Please Cat.”

“Fine. Hold on.” There was a beep and the call turned to a video. “Paging Dr. Hottie.” Cat held the phone in your face, the terror you were feeling obvious.

“Y/N are you hurt.” 

“Spencer.” You cried, but the video turn back to Cat.

“You have half an hour, or she won't be so pretty anymore. See you soon Spencie.”

There was no doubt in Spencer's mind that Cat was serious. He dropped his phone out the window and started to driving, trying to think of a plan.

**** 

“Reid?” Morgan yelled, looking around the vacant lot. “Guys, he’s not here.”

“Garcia’s looking up the footage from that camera.” JJ said, placing her phone on the hood of the car while the team gathered round.

“Ok. It looks like he’s taking a call.” Garcia’s voice said.

“Y/N was calling him.” Rossi added. 

“No, somethings wrong. He looks scared, then he ran over to a… Oh my god. That's Y/N’s car. Why’s her car parked here?” Garcia gasped. 

“Are you sure it's her car?”

“I'm running the plates, but I've been in that car.”

“Baby, what did Reid do after he got in the car.” 

“He dropped his cellphone out the window and drove away.”

“Cat must have Y/N, and he's going after them. It’s the only thing that makes sense.” JJ’s voice broke.

“We need to be sure. JJ and Emily, so to the hospital and see if Y/N’s there, or if anyone's heard from her. Garcia, I want you to meet Derek at Y/N’s, you've been there before, see if anything is out of place there. Dave and I will go to Reid's. I don't need to tell any of you, time is of the essence here.”

*****

Cat was waiting outside for Spencer when he got there, holding a gun to your head.

“Hands on your head.” She called. “I need to check you for a gun.”

“I threw it out the window, like you said.” He listened, willing to do anything if it meant she’d move the gun away from you.

“I know you did. I was watching you. But, you guys can be sneaky.” She pushed you forward and the two of you approached Spencer. Keeping her gun on you, Cat patted Spencer down.

“Wow. He's cute and follows instructions. I bet he was great in bed too, wasn't he?” Cat hissed in your ear.

“Let her go Cat. This is between you and me.” Spencer raised his hands.

“In the barn.” She said curtly. “Both of you.” The three of you went into the barn, where two chairs were set up. “Take a seat Spencie. Doc, grab those zip ties and tie your boyfriend to the chair, and make sure it's tight.”

Spencer sat and you zip tied each of his arms to the arms of the chair.

“Y/N. I'm so sorry.” Spencer whispered, “Are you hurt?”

You shook your head, your face tear stain, “Spence, I…”

“No talking. You, in the other chair.” Cat checked the tightness of Spencer's bindings before securing you to the other chair.

“Is everyone having fun?” Cat asked, crossing back over to Spencer, and sitting in his lap, and started to touch him gently, first tracing his lips and then moving down his throat. She worked the top few buttons of his shirt undone, and slipped her hand in his shirt. “Does this make you jealous? Or mad? Me touching your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend. He broke up with me.” Your voice was hoarse, like you'd been screaming. 

“That's right. The day I broke out. You didn't really think I didn't already know about her, did you Spencie? Did you know she cried and cried, I almost felt bad for her.” She went back to touching Spencer, “I think if I was sitting there watching another woman touch my baby daddy who I’m clearly still in love with, I’d be pretty pissed.”

“What did you just say?” Spencer whispered, looking over at you, tears rolling down your cheeks.

“Oh, you didn't know? You're going to be a daddy Spencie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know CLASSIC and TOTAlly original twist that she's pregnant :P I just really wanted Spencer to be a dad


	14. Sink me in the river, at dawn, send me away with the words of a love song.

“We're you ever going to tell me?” Spencer asked quietly. Cat had left the two of you in the barn, saying she needed to get some toys. He knew he should have been using this time to try to figure out how to get you guys out of there, but the only thing that was going through his mind was the fact that you were pregnant.

“Of course I was going to tell you.”

“How far along are you.”

“Almost four months.”

“When did you find out?”

“Two weeks after you broke up with me.” You sniffled. “Spence, is she going to kill us?” Your voice broke.

“The teams going to find us.”

“What if they're too late.”

Spencer opened his mouth to reassure you, but Cat came back in.

“Enough chit chat. I’m guessing they’ve figured a certain little someone is missing, so we are running out of time.” Cat stroked you cheek and you whimpered softly. 

“Cat, please. Let her go.” Spencer strained against the zip ties. “It's me you want. I’ll stay, just please don't hurt her.”

“Here's the thing Spencie.” Cat pulled a knife out of the bag she’s brought with her, “ You ruined my life. I had this whole plan to get back at you, it was going to be great, you were going to go to jail, never see your mom again, all that potential you had would just go to waste, then you met her.” Cat pointed the knife at you, “Now I think that the best way to ruin your life is to end hers. The fact that she's pregnant with your child is just a cherry on top. So here's what's going to happen. I'm going to hurt you while she watches. Then I'm going to hurt her, long and slow, really draw out those screams. Then I'm going to slit her throat and your going to watch another woman you love die.”

*****

“This feels icky. Being here with out them” Garcia said as her and Derek walked about your place. A neighbour had called the police thinking you’d been robbed, your front door wide open when they got there. 

“We need to profile her as the victim. Everything's been photographed already, do you see anything that looks strange? Out of place?”

“I don't think so.”

“Focus baby.” Derek said, his tone calm. “You know her. Does anything look odd.”

Garcia walked through your home, pausing in the kitchen. “She still loves him.” She said, softly touching a picture on the fridge of you and Spencer. It was the only reminder of him in the house. She sighed sadly and was about to keep going but paused.

“Oh my god.” She gasped.

“What?”

“Oh my god.” She cried.

“Penelope, what.” 

She pulled a sonogram off the fridge, “She’s pregnant.” 

Derek pulled out his phone to call the team while Garcia tearfully looked at the picture of your baby, of Spencer's baby, her mind racing.

“Her purse?” Garcia wondered out loud. Derek didn't respond, he was filling in Hotch on what they’d found. “Derek. Where's her purse.” Garcia said forcefully.

“Dumped out on the couch, why?”

“Was her hospital ID there?”

“I don't know?”

“I need to know if anyone’s found it.”

“Why?”

“Because if she has it, I can find them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes. I know this is a short one but I think it needed to be split from the next part.


	15. I remember you said, don't leave me here alone

“What do you mean you can find them?” Derek asked.

“You heard the story about how they met?”

“A coffee shop? What does this have to how we can find them?” JJ asked. The team had all come to your place and watched while Garcia set herself up.

“They met because she lost her ID badge. She was always losing it. So for her birthday I helped him program on of those GPS trackers. It was tiny and fit on her lanyard.”

“Does this mean what I think it means?”

“If they're within twenty five miles of the city I will."

*****

You winced as you pulled your wrist, trying to further loosen the zip ties. Your wrist was bloody and raw. Every time you thought about stopping you looked over at Spencer, slumped over in his chair, bloody and bruised, and unconscious.

After Spencer had lost consciousness, Cat had left the two of you, promising to return when Spencer woke up. She had been relentless with Spencer.

You saw his head move slightly, “Spence.” You whispered “Spencer wake up.” 

“Are you okay?” He said softly, his eyes fluttering open as he tried to focus.

“I’m okay, are you?”

“I’ve been better.”

“Look, I can almost get my arm out.” You showed him.

“Y/N. I need you to look at me. If you can get out, you need to leave me and run.”

“What? No. I'm not leaving you.”

“Y/N, look at me. I won't be able run, I don't think I could even walk.”

A soft sob can from your throat. “I won't leave you.”  
“You have to. She wanted to hurt me, so Cat is going to kill you if it's the last thing she does. Even if the team gets here in time, if she feels trapped, you're going to be her priority.” Spencer's voice wavered. “Promise me that you’ll leave, and that if I don't make it out of here, you’ll tell the baby about me.”

“Spence.”

“Promise me.”

The zip tie snapped and you looked up at him, the desperation in his eyes scared you. “I promise.” You whispered. With your freed hand you were able to stretch out and grab a shard of broken glass off the ground, and cut your other hand free.

“I need you to know that I never believed in soul mates until I met you, and you have my whole heart.” Spencer told you while you cut your legs free. 

“Don't do that. Please don't say goodbye. We need you. I need you. I can't do this alone”

“Y/N, you need to be brave for the baby. She's going to be back soon, please you need to run. Flag down a car and get help.”

“I love you Spencer. So much.”

“I love you.” He nodded assuringly to you, “Please go.”

You looked back at him one more time and ran out into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another very short one, we're coming up soon on the end!


	16. I guess I'm all you have, and I swear you'll see the dawn again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains blood, death and talk of miscarriage, so please be aware of that

“Where is she?” Cat screamed in Spencer's face.

“Long gone by now. Your times up. By now she’s found help and the the entirety of the FBI is on their way here.”

“No.” She screamed. “No no no. This isn't how it's supposed to go.” Cat was pacing the room. 

“You lose, yet again.”

“Games not over yet Spencie.” She paused. “I’ll just kill you, you’ll never see that baby, and Y/N, she’ll live her life constantly looking looking over her shoulder. And I promise you, I’ll find her and I’ll make your child an orphan.”

“They didn't do anything to you Cat. You're angry at me, and that's fine. Just please don't hurt them.”

Cat leaned in and nibbled Spencer’s earlobe. “I'm going to make her beg for her life.” She breathed.

Spencer almost didn't hear her, the blood pounding hard in his ears as he watched you sneak up behind Cat, holding a plank of wood. You brought it down hard on Cat, knocking her to the ground.

“You promised you’d leave.” Spencer said, while you looked for Cats knife to cut him free.

“I couldn't just let her kill you. Where's the knife?”

“Looking for this, bitch?” Cat had gotten up. Spencer held his breath while you make a move to grab the plank again, Cat lunging at you and you both of you falling out of Spencer's sight line.

“Y/N? Y/N?” Spencer screamed, he tried to pull hard to free himself, but knocked himself over. All he could hear was the sound of the two of you struggling. “Don’t hurt her Cat, please take me, take me instead.” Spencer was sobbing loudly now. He could hear you struggling to breathe, gasping loudly.

“Cat. Please.” He ignored all the pain he was feeling and strained hard against the zip ties.

“You stupid bitch.” Cat said, then the only sound filling the night air was Spencer’s sobs.

*********

After you’d run out of the barn, you hadn't made it far. You couldn't leave him. You would never be able to live with yourself if you didn't even try to save him. How could you look your child in the eyes and tell them that you just left their father there to die. 

By the time you’d come back for him, Cat had returned. She was angry that you had gotten away and was angrily pointing her knife at Spencer, waving it around, threatening him, you and your baby.

You’d never been this scared before, nor this filled with rage. You looked around for something, anything to stop her from hurting Spencer, and your eyes landed on a stack of wood planks. 

When Spencer saw you walk in, his eyes had widened considerably, so much fear and confusion. 

You had hit Cat hard, and she had fallen even harder, but you couldn't see where her knife had fallen.

“You promised you’d leave.” Spencer’s voice shook.

“I couldn't just let her kill you. Where's the knife?” You tried to keep the panic out of your voice. You needed to get him out of here, and away from her.

“Looking for this, bitch?” Cat asked, rising to her feet. She was shaken but had the same murderous look in her eyes.

You glanced at the plank that you had dropped and quickly made a move for it, but Cat knew what you were thinking and lunged at you.

The two of you fell to the ground, and she got on top of you, moving the knife to your throat. It took all your strength to press her arms up, keeping the knife just off your throat. She put her whole weight down on it and the knife lowered, the blade just grazing your throat. Instinctively, you bit down on her hand, and she yelled in surprise, dropping the knife. You both scrambled for it as it bounced away from you.

Still on top of you, Cat closed her hands around your throat, squeezing hard and cutting off your air.

You knew it wouldn't be long until you lost consciousness. As she squeezed tighter and tighter you reached out to your sides, patting around for anything to get her off you. You could hear Spencer screaming your name, begging Cat to not hurt you. 

Everything started to go blank when your hand closed around it. With your last bit of strength you brought the shard of glass and cut Cat on her arm, just under her armpit. Her grip loosened and you were able to draw in a deep breath. A confused look came across Cat’s face at the amount of blood she was losing.

“I’m sorry.” Your voice was barely a whisper.

“You stupid bitch.” She said, before slumping over, her eyes vacant.

Your whole body was shaking as you absorbed what had just happened. Spencer’s wailing was the only thing that brought you back.

“Spencer.” You crawled over to where he was, you were still so light headed and your throat ached from the pressure Cat.

“Y/N. Oh my god.”

“I killed her.” Your hands were shaking so violently that you struggled to cut him free. “I killed her.” You whispered again. “I cut her brachial artery. She bled out in seconds.” You were going into shock.

“It's okay.”

“No it's not. I killed someone Spencer.”

“Look at me.” His hands were freed now and your face in his hands. “She was going to kill us. You understand that, yes?” You nodded. “You saved us.” You started to cry and wrapped your arms around Spencer. “We need to get to your car. She took the keys, but the phone is still there. Can you help me up?”

You nodded again, and stood, helping Spencer up. He had to lean against you as you walked slowly outside. 

You leaned up against the car while he rummaged in the car, looking for the cellphone. 

“Found it.” He looked over at you and his face fell, “You’re bleeding.”

You winced as the cramping you’d been feeling since Cat had started hurting Spencer intensified. You looked up at him with tears in your eyes. 

“What can I do?”

You knew the odds and sadly shook your head, “I don't think there's anything we can do.” 

You lowered yourself down to the ground to sit while Spencer called for help, your hand gently stroking the slight baby bump that you’d just gotten used to the idea of.

“Maybe it will be okay.” Spencer lowered himself next to you.

You held back some tears. “She. The baby’s a girl.”

“A girl?” He repeated softly.

“I wanted to name her Evelyn after my mom. We would have called her Evie. Evie Diana Reid.” Your voice broke as tear dropped down your face and onto your belly. “And she going to have the same big brown eyes as you, and your wild curls, and she was going to be so smart, and sweet. And so loved. I loved her so much already, and I wanted her so bad.” You covered your mouth as you sobbed at your what might have beens.

“Maybe she's okay.”

“I don't know Spencer. It's a lot of blood.”

“This is all my fault.”

“No.”

“It is. Y/N . I'm so sorry that I cause you to have so much hurt and heartbreak. I would understand if you hated me.”

“Spencer. I could never hate you.” You leaned your head against his shoulder as the wails of the ambulances and police cars got closer, their lights flashing on your faces.

You weren't scared anyone because even though you didn't have much, you had Spencer, and right now, he was all you needed.


	17. Oh darling, I'm with you

Spencer kept his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep as the bedroom door slowly crept open. Soft giggles filled the room as the mattress shifted .

“Wake up daddy.” A small voice said before two small bodies started jumping on him. Spencer grabbed one in each arm and tickled them, making them squeal in delight.

“Girls. I thought we were going to let daddy sleep in today.” You laughed, coming into the bedroom with the baby on you hip. 

“But mommy, we want to give daddy his present.” Evie explained.

“Happy Father's Day.” Bea said softly, her tiny hands holding Spencer's face.

You looked at Spencer and smiled, and his heart was so full.

He never could have imagined how much his life could change in five short years. Five years ago he’d been sure that a life with you wasn't something he’d ever be able to have. Sitting with you in the hospital, holding your hand while you waited for a doctor to come in to check the baby, he was sure you were done with him. When the doctor had found the faintest heartbeat he had burst into tears and had promised you that if it took his whole life, he was going to make up for all the hardship he had put you through.

He though he knew love when he looked at you, but the first time he’d held Evie in his arms it was love at first sight, a different, all consuming type of love. You had told him that you dreamt she would look like him, but he had hoped she’d look like you, and she did. A perfect replica of you, and she had him wrapped around his finger from the day she was born.

When Beatrice came along a little over a year later Spencer’s heart grew even more. As much as Evie looked like you, Bea was all Spencer. All wild curls and big brown eyes. Both girls as smart as a whip, both the sweetest and most thoughtful with the kindest hearts. 

Then there was little Tommy. The perfect blend of the two of you, rested on your hip while the girls jumped around Spencer on the bed, reached for Spencer, wanting to play with his older sisters.

This little family he had with you was everything he’d always wanted. The way their little voices got so excited when he came home made up for all the awful things he saw on a regular bases. Their love showed him that even in the worst times, there was good in the world.

By far his favourite thing about this family the two of you had made, was watching you with the kids. The way you loved them so deeply made him love you more and more everyday. He’d known before Evie was even born that you’d be an amazing mother. 

“Can we give daddy our present mommy?”  
“Of course my love.” You pushed Evie's hair out of her eyes as you sat on the bed next to Spencer, and kissed him softly on the lips.

“Eww.” The girls giggled, covering their eyes. You and Spencer laughed when Tommy copied them.

Spencer sat up and Bea snuggled into his lap.”Presents then pancakes?” Bea asked.

“Yes. Presents then pancakes.” You booped her nose.

“Daddy. Here.” Evie sent the small box on his lap and snuggled up to you, watching him intently. 

Spencer opened the box and smiled, “Wow. Did you make these all by yourself?” He asked, pulling out the colourful beaded bracelets.

“Mommy helped a little. But look daddy. They’re just like mommy's. Like twins.” 

In the box was four rainbow beaded bracelets, each with a different name on them. One for Evie. Beatrice and Tommy, just like you had on your wrist. “This one say Y/N. Did you know that’s mommy's name daddy?” Bea asked, 

“I knew that.” He told her, putting the bracelets on his wrist. “One of mommy’s bracelets says daddy’s name.”

“Let me see.” Evie said, “Please.” She added when you raised an eyebrow. You held out your wrist and she read the names out loud. “E-V-I-E is Evie. B-E-A is Bea. T-O-M-M-Y is Tommy and S-P-E-N-C-E-R is…” She looked up at you and you smiled.

“Lets sound it out together.” You encouraged.

“Sss-pen-ccer. Spencer?”

“Very good baby.”

“Do you like them daddy?”

“I love them so much. Almost as much as I love each of you.”

“Girls, why don't you go get dressed and then we can make pancakes?” You suggested, both girls hoped off the bed and ran out of the room. “They want to go to the museum after breakfast.”

“Our museum?” He asked with a smile while Tommy crawled around the bed.  
“Our museum.” You kissed him again. “Here. He needs a diaper change.” You held your hands out for Tommy. 

“No. I've got it.”

“How’d I get so lucky to have a husband who volunteers to change diapers.”

“Probably the same way I was lucky enough to get a woman as amazing as you to be my wife.”

“You keep that up Dr. Reid, you're definitely getting lucky later.”

Later on that evening Spencer joined you in the living room, flopping on the couch next to you.

“Girls asleep?” You asked running your fingers through his hair. 

“Yeah. Tommy?”

“Yup. What was Evie asking about tonight?” You straddled his lap and wrapped your arms around him, Spencer rested his hands on your hips. 

“She was asking about atoms.”

“Again? That seems to be her favourite lately.” You put a soft kiss under his ear, then moved and put another on under his other ear. “She always asks me about them when you're gone.” You lowered your hands and fumbled with his belt while kissing him.

“Whats gotten into you?” Spencer gasped, “Is it all the atom talk?” He chuckled.

“No, there's just something so insanely hot about you being such an amazing dad, it just really gets me in the mood.” You whispered into his ear, moaning softly, as you ground yourself against him. 

“It's probably because-“ he started but you covered his mouth and shook your head.

“I'm sure whatever the biological reasoning is, it's fascinating, but why don't you tell me after you fuck me?”

“Right. Good idea, you're very smart.” He kissed you, “And so beautiful.” He added when you pulled your shirt up over your head. He raised himself up just enough to free himself from his pants. You weren't wearing any panties under your skirt and he thrusted up into you. “Fuck Y/N.” He breathed into your throat. 

You sighed softly as he set a steady pace with his thrusts, rolling your hips to meet each thrust. You both came quickly with hushed moans. With three kids running around, the two of you had gotten very efficient at getting each other off when there was a chance you could get caught. 

Though you’d already cum, Spencer tightened his grip around your waist and thrusted up into you even deeper, letting his other hand fall between you, his fingers rubbing your clit roughly, drawing a strangled gasp from your lips.

“Spence.” You rested one hand behind you on his knee, the other clutching his shoulder, using the momentum to ride him even harder. “Fuck.” You said loudly, letting go of his shoulder to cover your mouth as you came hard. 

You rested your head against his chest as you both tried to catch your breathe.

“I need to talk to you about something.” You both said at the same and laughed.

“You go first.” You said.

“I got offered a job last week.”

“A job? I didn't know you were looking for a new job.”

“I wasn't, it just happened. When I was doing that guest lecture George Washington University, the dean offered me a job.”

“Wow. What are you going to do?”

“What do you want me to do?”

You smiled and brushed his hair back, “Baby, I can't make that choice for you. Yes, the kids would love it if you were here all the time, and I would love sleep next to my husband every night, but I know what you do is important, and I would never ask you to stop. The kids are too young to understand exactly what it is you do, but they know their daddy saves people, and they're so proud of you. What ever you pick, I’ll support you.”

“I’m just worried that one day you're going to wake up and feel differently.”

“You aren't getting rid of me that easily” You got off his lap and found your shirt. “Maybe there's a way you could do both? Maybe consult with the FBI?” You pulled your shirt back on and started to straighten up some of the toys.

“Maybe.” He watched you move around the room putting everything in its place. “You said you had something you wanted to talk to me about?”

You bit your lip, “I do, but you have to promise that it won't effect your decision.” You sat next to him on the couch.

“Alright, I promise.”

“Hold out your hand.” You told him as you reached into your pocket. He did and you put something in his hand, closing his hand into a fist.

Spencer opened his hand and there was another beaded bracelet. He looked at you with a raised eyebrow as he turned it over in his hand and read the name.

“Gideon?” He said softly.

“I know it's way too early to know if it's a boy or not, but I just have a feeling.”

Spencer smiled down at the bracelet then over at you. “Another baby?” He laughed.

You also laughed and nodded. “I guess it's a good thing we such a big house.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached the end! Thanks for reading!! I very much appreciate the comments and kudos!
> 
> I've already got an idea of another story, so be on the lookout for that!


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